elly👑

[elly👑 @ellyy00]

No matter what, ima be alright regardless 💯

[Nithya Shri @Nithya_Shrii]

If we're ever in a situation where we're both doing math in our heads, I'm just pretending. It's all on you.

[(╬≖_≖) @hugetulip]

The estimated delivery on my Halloween costume went from October 27th to October 29th…

[🦢 @damnidc__]

This older man came thru work today and ordered his wife a latte.. I asked him hot or iced, and he paused.. "give me both and I'll drink the one she doesn't want..."

And that's on 43 years of marriage.

Well played, Sir.

[🦢 @meishato]

i once saw an old man buy flowers and when the cashier asked “anniversary?” he said “no, she just had a bad day yesterday.” that’s the kind of love i pray for

[MAX @616WAYNE]

I DO NOT “MEAL PREP” I DO NOT “BUDGET GROCERIES” I BUY FOOD WHEN IM HUNGRY AND IF IM BROKE I KILL MYSELF

[grace @raresblvd]

I hope he loves growing old with you the same way I loved growing up with you

[Riki @biconicwomann]

a customer couldn't decide between two desserts and her boyfriend said "just get both, it's your day" and I was like "omg is it your birthday??" and she said "no, he says that every day"

[daft ponk @sicksadchris]

i lowkey can't believe these people are allowed to walk among us

[tana @bodeinebrazy888]

Before you beef with me know i am deeply malicious to my core once upset

[regina george @meanlore]

that prenup is about to be longer than any book travis kelce has ever read

[Carlos @mamaloveslos]

No it’s actually pretty sick that you’re 27 years old and you purposefully type in all lower case still

[dreamgirl @zurijayyy]

i unfollowed this girl for taking her dog to the shelter , bitch u gotta gooooo

[Cxspxxr✘🧸 @_6signxxx]

to be loved is to be seen
to be loved is to be known
to be loved is to be considered

[Punch Cat @PunchingCat]

my fav season 🧡

[Redd @ReddCinema]

I can't believe camouflage actually fooled me I feel like a big fucking stupid moose

[sarina @sariverse]

addicted to bad posture omggg why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis

[⭑.ᐟ @flvmeprincesss]

men are such terrible people

[♰ @reeceollld]

no contact is cool but not telling me happy birthday is reallly dtm