Morris EO

Born in LaJolla and raised in Vegas! Father of 2 amazing boys

[Shorty Mahoney @MahoneyShorty]

@ElMauri619 @FOX5Vegas Dude fired dozens of rounds at the police. No mention of this by any of our local ‘on the spot’ news teams. I guess it was all past their bedtimes. Useless as usual.

[FuckFiling @GTFOGARY]

@Itx_judith @GavinNewsom

Any man that fucks around on his wife with his friend’s girl is 1000% willing to fuck over people he doesn’t know.

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

McDonald's is spending 8.5 billion dollars to find out why families stopped coming.

I can save them the 8.5 billion.

They took out the playground.

The plan, announced Wednesday at investor day. Better food, faster service, new equipment, AI tools, hospitality training, and a bigger push into chicken and beverages. They call it Next. The goal, they say, is making customers feel more comfortable.

Wall Street loved it so much the stock fell 5 percent to its lowest since 2022.

Over five years McDonald's shares are down 3 percent. Burger King's parent is up 14. The owner of Taco Bell and KFC is up 13.

This is not a hamburger problem. This is a McDonald's problem.

So let us talk about who used to eat there.

Parents. That was the whole business. Parents at 5:40 on a Tuesday with three kids in the back and nothing thawed at home.

You did not go for the burger. You went because your kids could run screaming through a plastic tube for 40 minutes while you sat with a coffee and experienced silence.

That was the product. The food was the cover charge.

The first PlayPlace opened in 1971 in Birmingham, Alabama, and for fifty years it did one job. It made small children demand to go to McDonald's.

Then 2020 arrived, every play area in the country closed, and a great many never came back. The equipment came out during a remodeling program named Experience of the Future.

The Experience of the Future turned out to be a touchscreen.

Their own chief executive said he did not know if ball pits were in their future.

Sir, you were not selling ball pits. You were selling forty minutes.

So now there is no counter, no playground, and no reason for a seven year old to want to go. A screen, a window, and a bag.

And for that we pay prices that require a moment of reflection in the parking lot.

For thin, overcooked, oddly uniform pucks that taste like a memory of beef.

I did not love them because they were good. I loved them because I was eight and there was a slide.

And have you seen the new buildings.

The old ones were unmistakable. Red roof, yellow arches, legible from a highway at 70 to a child who could not yet read.

The new ones are a flat gray box with a small logo and a drive through wrapped around it. A regional claims office with a fryer.

They removed the color, the characters, the counter, and the playground, and then hired consultants to find out why it no longer feels like anywhere.

Which is why, when I have to eat fast food, I go to Chick-fil-A.

Not for the politics. For the competence.

They have led the customer satisfaction index for fast food eleven years running, and average 8.5 million dollars per location against McDonald's 4 million.

More than double, while closed on Sundays. Fifty two days a year with the lights off, and still double.

A seventeen year old hands you a bag and says my pleasure and means it about 70 percent, which is 70 percent more than a touchscreen has managed.

McDonald's is spending 8.5 billion on hospitality training.

Chick-fil-A earns 8.5 million per restaurant by just having some.

So here is my consulting proposal, free of charge, on behalf of mothers everywhere.

Put the playgrounds back.

Not a nostalgia campaign. Not a retro cup. The structure. Tubes, slides, a door the kids cannot open from the inside, and a bench where a tired woman can sit.

And understand what you are buying, because it is not lunch.

A six year old does not know your food is bad. He has no basis for comparison and no functioning palate. He thinks the burger is incredible because he is standing in a castle made of tubes.

That is the window. That is the only window you get.

You catch them before the taste buds arrive, and thirty years later they drive past your sign, feel something they cannot explain, and pull in anyway.

That is not a menu strategy. That is imprinting, and you shut it down in 2020 to save on cleaning.

Eight and a half billion dollars for AI tools and hospitality training.

Or a slide.

🦋

[Morris EO @ElMauri619]

@FOX5Vegas A bullet nearly missed my son’s friend 🤬 this was only a few houses down from ours

[San Diego Padres @Padres]

WE’RE GOING TO THE POSTSEASON!!!

[Josh G @jgriswold729]

I will never understand the weird obsession with Dodger fans commenting on every possible padres threads that they can. You’ve won two titles, congrats. Worry about your own crap. It’s…weird. If the Pads ever won, the last thing I’d think is, “Oh,let me head to Dodger twitter.”

[Morris EO @ElMauri619]

@jgriswold729 Every. Single. Time! It’s like they have one hand on their keyboard and the other on the tv remote, soon as the game is over they send their magnificent little clever tweet 🤦🏾‍♂️

[Morris EO @ElMauri619]

@DevineGospel It’s because everyone knows how this team bows down, plays scared against the team up north. The “hottest team” in baseball should at least put up a better fight than last night’s match

[Morris EO @ElMauri619]

@MonseBolanos I can’t win, I’m a fan of both 😭

[Diverse Mentality @DverseMentality]

“Hip-Hop don’t have social security.” 👀💰🙏

Nas helped give Grandmaster Caz something bigger than a shoutout. Through the Paid in Full Foundation, which Nas co-founded, the hip-hop pioneer received financial support that allowed him to buy a house and finally leave the projects.

The Cold Crush Brothers legend explained the reality behind his decades of contributions:

“You have to work. You got to stay out there. For me anyway, I got to keep working.”

Caz kept doing radio, park jams and hip-hop sightseeing tours to support himself. His story shows why helping the pioneers means more than celebrating their influence. For him, that support meant a home. Interview clip.

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Jaguars defensive end Travon Walker is the Week 2 NFLPA Community MVP after he donated $5,000 and helped pack 500 food bags, each featuring a handwritten note, to combat weekend food insecurity among North Florida students.

[cats with jobs 🛠 @CatWorkers]

New cat just launched. 🎉

[Mrs B @attackdogX]

Massive fraud ring busted in San Diego. Zoom in on the names. What do you notice?

Our country is just being plundered by foreign enemies

[FOX5 Las Vegas @FOX5Vegas]

UPDATE: Las Vegas police are searching for the driver involved in a deadly hit-and-run crash near Nellis and Stewart.

Read more: https://t.co/rkBNpPBtG6

[Annie Heilbrunn @annieheilbrunn]

Fernando Tatis Jr. with a 2-run HR in the second inning, and it's now 5-1, #Padres over Rockies. Tatis' 22nd HR of the season (and he continues to smoke the baseball).

[Morris EO @ElMauri619]

@annieheilbrunn Thanks @tatis_jr

[Bob Scanlan @heyscan]

First MLB hit for Ethan Salas is a triple - congratulations kid!

[Morris EO @ElMauri619]

@VitalVegas Won’t happen. Most casino auto grats went away because the IRS wanted their cut. They saw it as Revenue and wanted taxes from business and employees. Dine and dashers on the other hand should be zapped at the door and pulverized 🤷🏾‍♂️

[Drew-Jit-Su @HipHopSince76_]

911 Is A Joke
#FlavorFlav

[Morris EO @ElMauri619]

@TheVegasVice Planes should have seatbelts that only unfasten when is your turn to get up, they’ll show em 😆