eloise ൫

edtwt ! s: 206 ! c: 135 ! g: 103 ! 173cm ! eng/rus/ukr/fr

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

Unpinning at -75lbs because I've come so far and I'm not done yet! 💪

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

@inmelodysmind Wait omg you're like famous on here now... what did I miss...

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

Hiiii oomfies!! Sorry I disappeared but I’m in Italy rn on an abroad program,,,, I've been eating so much pizza and pasta and then the demons told me to buy a scale and I found out I gained like 10lbs so RELAPSE TIME 🤑🤑🤑

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

@mizombs @vivifluws Literally SAME 😭😭I’m in Italy and it's boiling but at least I can wear summery clothes

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

I had the holidays 😭 20lbs above my lw, 10 above the weight my agency has... I have a shoot on the 6th I need to starvemaxx NOWWWW

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

@itslitrllymine 🧁

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

Telling my therapist my sw, cw, and lw and trying not to seem too happy abt my wl so she doesn't think I’m too mentally ill

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

But I told her and now we're trying CBT !! I actually opened up about this ED shit and i don't feel terrible about it... I don't think I’m ready to recover but I think it will be nice to know the strategies for when I am :)

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

Hey guys so I started therapy... she tried to teach me ACT techniques which I’m not a fan of... I’m using them to accept my binge urges and commit to restricting instead 🙄

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

God forbid hard-working parents buy nice things for the kids they love 🫩

[ؘ @vwvies]

sometimes i just gotta match my dad’s interesting messaging style

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

Hehehe he came and picked me up and we had a really good conversation and actually laid out our boundaries. I need to work on being more open bc I really really struggle to talk about my feelings so I don't, and then it builds up and hurts us. I will be better

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

I can't tell my friends so I’m telling twitter: I’m back with my bf. We're casual (still exclusive) because both of us need to work on our mental health. But we're best friends and we love each other so much that we can't be apart. It's our one year anniversary technically

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

@cleanteethvane Idk, let me know if you find out tho bc I've been maintaining for a year now 🥲

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

@mutsuangel I feel that. Never been that low but when I hit the 130s (bmi 20s) I got scared bc my hw was 210 (almost bmi32) and I got scared of heart damage. But idc anymore lol

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

@sadlilbunniee So convinced that the people who judge others w cnc/abuse kinks have just never been through it before... or they have and they don't feel that way and that's fine, but everyone responds to abuse different. rough stuff is cathartic bc now I know he'll listen if I say stop. power.

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

We're not telling anyone in our lives (except he already told his mom LOL) bc we don't wanna go thru the whole "we broke up we're back" for a third time. Just seeing where we go, focusing on ourselves and enjoying each other's company. I’m happy.

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

I can't tell my friends so I’m telling twitter: I’m back with my bf. We're casual (still exclusive) because both of us need to work on our mental health. But we're best friends and we love each other so much that we can't be apart. It's our one year anniversary technically

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

@B0NGBONES I'd post my bookshelf but I have it organized with all the spines facing in and I think I'll get cyberbullied.

[finn @bluestberries]

full sugar sodas. you have to draw the line somewhere

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

@shinyiroha @inmelodysmind Yes bro it's a workout ? 😭😭

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

@odetoh1m Yeah bc if I weigh myself under the guest profile it tells me I’m 2lbs lighter than if I do it under my profile. It's like when I was hospitalized and they told me I was 5lbs heavier than what they put in my chart like which one is true

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

We're staying friends. I can't lose a partner and my best friend at the same time. I’m really scared that it will get messy and end bad but we gotta try. Fuck I miss us already. I’m trying to be strong and open to moving on but it's so hard

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

We talked. I actually feel really good after it all. At least as good as I can feel. I want to beg for him back, I wanted to tell him to stay with me forever. But it's not fair or good for either of us. He feels the same, we both wish we could take it back but we can't.

[eloise ൫ @elo87316]

God I love him. We ended on really good terms. Had a long phone call and got a lot of closure. I’m gonna be that girl that's still hung up on her ex 10 years later, aren't I?

We both agreed it was the right person, wrong time. He's coming over tomorrow to get his things.