Octavio Garduza

Walamardo está wendo a wabajar

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Octavio Garduza @eloctag]

This thread is so awesome and low key wholesome

[⭕ AI & Design (Marco) @AIandDesign]

@Stretchedwiener We should be in my opinion! I became friends with another artist who really hates AI just yesterday as well. I think it's important to keep talking to each other.

Sorry we had a rough start! Thanks for following back!

[Octavio Garduza @eloctag]

Isn’t Goldberg like 250 or something

[WWE @WWE]

GOLDBERG is BACK on #WWERaw!

[Octavio Garduza @eloctag]

Just let Cook cook

[Apple Design @TheAppleDesign]

Dear Apple,

I’m unsurprised and shocked at the same time.

[Octavio Garduza @eloctag]

Don’t make me tap the sign

[kache @yacineMTB]

>israel launches missiles and hits a couple iranian facilities
>iran launches missiles and they all get shot down
>both declare victory and nothing else happens

there you go. you can go to bed now. good night

[Root 🥕 @therationalroot]

Short-Term Holder cost basis at $92k. #Bitcoin

[The Bitcoin Conference @TheBitcoinConf]

$100,000K #BITCOIN LFG 🚀🚀🚀

[Swan @Swan]

Bitcoin, not Crypto.

[Jonesy @HedgeyeDJ]

October CPI inflation RISES to 2.6%, in-line with consensus at 2.6%.

Core CPI inflation was 3.3%, in-line with consensus at 3.3%.

Both headline and Core CPI inflation are now higher than they were just 2 months ago.

The market always knows, comrades.

[GeeksforGeeks | Learn to Code @geeksforgeeks]

“Mergesort this”
“Quicksort that”
“Heap them”

Bro I just want to sort my life.

[Magoo PhD @HodlMagoo]

100K by Christmas Day 🎄 🎅

[Niko Jilch ⚡️ @NikoJilch]

Real #Bitcoin dominance (excluding stablecoins) is close to 70%.

[Peter McCormack 🏴‍☠️🇬🇧🇮🇪 @PeterMcCormack]

Unlock that cage and get our boy Ross home ✌🏻

[Sean Harris🏀 @BigSeanHarris]

#Bitcoin always wins😎

[Octavio Garduza @eloctag]

RT @BitcoinMagazine: BREAKING: NEW #Bitcoin ALL TIME HIGH! 🚀

[Fred Krueger @dotkrueger]

Get Ready for All Time High. Tonight.
"Who Loves Ya, Baby?"

[Zach Segal 🛡 🇺🇸 @zosegal]

Anti-crypto Senator Sherrod Brown might be out of a job tonight

[The Bitcoin Conference @TheBitcoinConf]

Adam Back explaining why we’ll never know who Satoshi is 👀

[zerohedge @zerohedge]

best/worst performing assets since the rate cut