elsa

oh welcome back

[elsa @elsaclements]

well it’s actually illegal to make me cry during pride month consider it a hate crime

[lxlia @lxlyuh]

imagine thinking you're safe with me then boom i start biting you

[Lance Corporate @lance_corporate]

Imagine refusing to serve me any more vodka sodas in the Delta SkyClub on stolen land

[k @ysljennii]

“it’s only a 2 day trip”

me :

[P@blo @EscobumpGaviria]

how many grams of protein are there in a 3 day bender

[Stunna @incognitoStunna]

Not now kitten, daddy is hand picking the grown men who get to piss him off for the next 17 weeks

[Cats Out Of Context @Cats_ooc]

They are on a double date

[jynx @miiagarro]

if my friend hates u, i hate u-in-law

[COCO @TWOTIMESABITCH]

women are lonely, too. but people don’t care because lonely women don't murder, they go to grad school or get a rescue dog.

[⋆｡𖦹° ꕤ @rakkofan]

i wake up, i cry over spilt milk, put all of my eggs in one basket, bite off more than i can chew, jump the gun, fly off the handle and then die on that hill

[low yield lucy @picotop]

intern just said "type shit" to a client.

[alys @alyssby]

so full of love and rage, very yin & yang of me

[Jake Protection program @JakeDigital_Tm]

nunca usaria botox porque me gusta que la gente vea mi cara de asco cuando dijeron una pelotudez

[Aristo @aristomarinetti]

The most spiritual thing you can do is to have fun and love life.

[uMARAZOR @zizithebadgal]

forgive & forget? i'm neither god nor do i have alzheimers

[matt @mattybtweets69]

What should I do for dinner and the entire rest of my life

[hera @shiningdaisies]

unfortunately i could never be nonchalant because i am not well in the head and also my soul is on fire

[🦢 @ZainabSana2622]

How do I change my organ donor status to “for women only”

[draculiv @bpddestroyer]

I can tell ur ass went to Jupiter to get more stupider