Captain Bee Fart

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

Contemplating a #Jacobs #crackers selection box and was intrigued to discover that while the plain cream cheese one seems to have real dill; the smoked salmon one sports poorly photoshopped fronds. Is this an example of Big Cracker reinforcing outdated fish snack stereotypes?

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@DulwichRaider I’m also sorry, but good on yer for doing it. I’ve been on a diet for six fucking weeks. No chips or beer, but gin and diet tonic is allowed, and apparently pork scratchings are “keto” so it’s not all miserable. Also, now my clothes fit again! Chapeau!

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@i_am_mill_i_am Arf!

[Ian Greaves @GreavesIan]

Wait a minute, Barbara, there's a Beiderbecke Tapes *t-shirt*?

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@rhodri Was talking to someone who knows about planning the other day about the same phenomenon here in Faversham, Kent, and he though “cheap treat” in a time of economic hardship was a factor.

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@AccidentalP THE ALPHABET EXPLAINED: The origin of every letter https://t.co/Hu4e9qQruD via @YouTube

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@CaptainLibatron @i_am_mill_i_am @FavershamLit Had forgotten this was on till I was startled by passing interviewee/er in the street while out exercising my feral chimp offspring on the streets of Fav. Bit of a shock for this loyal @BacklistedPod patron. Glad you enjoyed it!

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@dickymoo It’s the kind of outside the box thinking that modern children’s’ football needs right now. Stick with me on this and it’ll be halftime avocados by the harvest festival transfer window.

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@dickymoo I’ve witnessed quite a few elaborate goal celebrations at 6-7 year old footy games of late. I asked another dad, “what happened to pulling your shirt over you head and running about?” He said you’d get a card. So I asked, what about pulling your shorts down instead? Anyone? No?

[⚫Neil Kulkarni @KaptainKulk]

It’s getting cold in here so put on all your clothes I am getting so cold I’m gonna put more clothes on

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@KaptainKulk I plan to make 2023 the year of the hash brown. Love a hash brown.

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@YardFaversham This is such sad news.

[Allo Darlin' @allodarlinuk]

This year, 2023, Allo Darlin’ are going to reunite for some shows in England. We hope to make some more music together too. Life is too short to not do the things you love, to do the things that make life worth living. That goes for you too. (4/5)

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

Contemplating a #Jacobs #crackers selection box and was intrigued to discover that while the plain cream cheese one seems to have real dill; the smoked salmon one sports poorly photoshopped fronds. Is this an example of Big Cracker reinforcing outdated fish snack stereotypes?

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@alexhilton Take out July (for Julius) and August (for Augustus) and it works neatly. Bloody Romans.

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@alexhilton Didn’t they used to be numerically appropriate till some meddlesome Roman emperors added extra months July and August named after themselves and screwed it up?

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@FryRsquared For the love of baby Christ, it’s just a big roast dinner! We do one most weeks. The only difference is you start the bird earlier and add extra pork products. It doesn’t need a programme management team.

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@MonkeyMonkeyson Whatever dude. Tell us about your hair.

[Chart Music: the TOTP podcast @ChartMusicTOTP]

It's Chart Music Day.

[Captain Bee Fart @elvertweets]

@LukeTurnerEsq @stevie_chick I dunno. Part of the fun of learning something you love is the realisation that while you can approximate, and thus appreciate it even more, you recognise that you’ll never fully recreate it. For me, learning stuff only amplifies my appreciation of the singularity of the thing!