𝙴

[Aimy 🍓🥛 @erdbeermilcher]

Marie Antoinette ist für deutlich weniger gestorben

[Ry Passle @RyPassle]

#PourCoffeeOnYourWorkKeyboardChallenge

[Goob @goobgleeb]

They are blocking my nose again with some kind of nanotechnology or some sort noseblocking ray

[Jack @GayLaVie]

IF YOU’RE IN LINE TO EAT THE PAINT CHIPS FLAKING OFF THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL REFLECTING POOL, STAY IN LINE

[•ᴗ- @evadentz]

we should ban teenagers from ALL media. and then on their 16th birthday they are brought to a theatre to be shown a movie of a train coming directly at them to see if they react and flee in horror like they did in 1896

[freya jane @freyaunfiltered]

greg abbott core

[Barney “Deputy” Fife @DeputyFife69]

How every Marshall Tucker band song feels

[baber @bakerbakerbaker]

severe weather service texting my phone. not now WHORE im standing at a very exposed window

[𝐬𝐨𝐯 ᯓ ✈︎ @sovietsoleri]

Date idea

[Cody Main @cmain7]

the food scientist was in their bag developing these. there are drugs that aren’t this addicting.

[͏b͏l͏a͏n͏c @dqveed]

They’re slowly taking away the second amendment see

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

Do you wanna Come over and get Irritated with my Behavior

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

Ben Franklin didn't plow through dozens and dozens of French whores so that you could abide by fireworks ordinances

[Losing it @prophethusband]

Text from mom: My cousin died last night. Her house caught fire. Maybe arson. She was 87. You met her once in 1997.

Me: I’m so sorry to hear that. Let me know if you wanna call

Mom: 👍 How do I watch Netflix on ipad

[Von Hayes @VonHayes888]

Breaking: David Koresh will not be performing at The Great American State Fair.

[danny @d4nnytye]

experiencing the l’occitane shower oil while staying at someone’s house and feeling a throbbing urge for upward social mobility the rest of the day

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

Having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like I can’t be saved