ElyseB

Former #RetailLife worker. Current #Accounting major. Occasional bitch about #parenting

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

#dearcustomer: ma’am
Me: yes, did you need help?
DC: knit hats
Me: I’m sorry, we only have baseball caps in stock right now.
DC: *looks at husband and scoffs* well happy birthday.
As if trying to make me feel guilty will make a knit hat appear out of thin air.

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

@BrewStewFilms How do I get an invite to this good ass looking dinner?

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

@BrewStewFilms This just made my shit week approximately 8 minutes better

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

@ilove_retail “A dude with sunglasses on” fucking got me 😂😂☠️

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

@TalentlessWrite How dare you speak ill of @BrewStewFilms

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

@LebronKamez I did get concerned because I ❤️ his podcast but haven’t listened in a bit and thought I missed something lol

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

Went to make a quick dinner tonight before my zoom meeting, but when I opened my mashed potatoes they had some weird orange substance on them 🤢
This brand is normally good but I’m not taking my chances tonight #BobEvans

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

Don’t tell me how to live my life
#RedBullsAndIcedCoffeesForever

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

If you’re outdoors in these temperatures you need to be primarily drinking water.

NOT red bull,
NOT iced coffee,
NOT that purple stuff all over tiktok,

W👏A👏T👏E👏R

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

I see you, Gerald Wittenburg and Steven Gill, authors of my Income Tax Fundamentals textbook for this semester ����🐦🦝🐾🏈👶
@FamilyGuyonFOX @JGQuintel #RegularShow

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

Why yes, I have listened to the new @foofighters album three times through already since I download it this morning.
#ButHereWeAre

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

I’m not ready for it to be over 😭😭💔
@TedLasso

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

Just had to immediately google @TedLasso after watching the newest episode to make sure that wasn’t the series finale

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

@mickeyfoon @oldenoughtosay Sounds like she could use some tea bagging, ugh what a small thing to be focused on and then fire a clearly reliable and professional babysitter

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

Rude of my hairdresser to make me feel amazing and have my hair look flawless only to send me off on my own for the next 3-4 months to chase that high with my own products

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

Remembered the time my fiancé jumped in and offered us to contribute 24 snack pack bags of Pirate’s Booty from the classroom snack list because he thought “it was just popcorn”. It was a rude awakening when he realized we were spending $20 and should have just picked strawberries

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

@shrimpsradio please never stop making #MallWalkin this is so goddamn funny 😂

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

@MattGourley had me wheezing trying to be cool 😎 #FuckmansLeap

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

https://t.co/ok4tpHFrd3

I haven’t even listened to the whole interview but their intro almost made me drive off the road I was laughing so hard. @ConanOBrien @TeamCoco #CONAF

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

@BunAndLeggings I was trying to find the gif of Garrett getting spooked by the bird on Superstore lol

[ElyseB @ElyseB92]

I have to know, did Arby’s sue you? @BrewStewFilms

https://t.co/bbQTEQuiz1