Lorenz Zaunbrecher

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

Mister goes a long way when you’re asking someone to do something stupid.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

Fuck, fight, or hold the light. #dependable

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

@hey_sweetpea Bub @b@t@okn ctrvt

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

Tennessee walkers are like horses with rims

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

It is never the big things that piss you off, and always the small things that push you over the edge.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

I skyped my neighbor earlier.... I called him on the phone and we were both looking at each other through the window.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

I'll make a big enough ass out of both of us.......

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

I got in trouble this week for signing in with a gate guard.. My purpose for visit on the sign in sheet. "Prostate Exam."

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

Duck gumbo... Snow outside.. Cold beer in the man cave... Life is good.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

@hey_sweetpea that might be the case... But I want fancy sauce.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

@Fernandoh612m if you ever do this again.. Ill skull fuck you... Leave me alone.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

@hey_sweetpea honestly... Ok... But.. Holy shit.. I am a dick...

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

@hey_sweetpea nah... I'm satisfied being bitter for now.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

I met a woman last night... The worst individual I have ever encountered... I can't really go on... That should be plenty.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

I spend the majority of my life drinking, hanging out, and in general just kicking as much ass as possible.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

I hate most people.. The exceptions know who they are...

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

Then again... Fuck your face... I would have to issue an ultimatum if you didn't suck.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

The ultimatum is a negotiation tool that should be respected.

[Lorenz Zaunbrecher @elzenio]

Be angry.. Or let it go.. Makes no difference to me.. It was over the second it was done.

[Tucker Max @TuckerMax]

The only Harlem Shake video I'll watch is Montel Williams trying to walk down stairs