Emily Lowndes

betty white is my spirit animal

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

@M4KOmaha Oh no! @habitatomaha is bad at military time - too bad we didn't have the same Navy Seal training as Magnum P.I. did! Can you give us another chance at question 7?

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

Three HyVees in three days and two states. Starting to feel like I'm part of @thinnnlizzy 's posse :)

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

"Your license picture is not super flattering."
Ummm, thanks drug screening guy?

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.
-Ron Swanson
No wiser words have ever been spoken. Thanks for the reminder.

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

Turns out there is such a thing as "too much too soon" after hip surgery & tendinitis mayyy be a real thing so back to the crutch for a bit!

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

BIG DAY. Put my sock/shoe on BY MYSELF, down to one crutch half a day, and stitches are OUT. #likeaboss

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

I was convinced a pear was growing in my leg before swelling subsided. According to momma, it was not a pear but instead a slab of brisket

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

Two days into crutches and I already feel like the Incredible Hulk!

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

Post-surgery on repeat to erryone "did you know @qharles is my boyfriend? Isn't he soo cute?!"
And I suckered them into giving me stickers.

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

That time you go into Target to pick up a $5 Rx and leave with $50 in greeting cards...

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

Turns out two shots of espresso and The Knocks on repeat can do wonders for productivity on a Monday #getatme

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

That time I ordered 16 boxes of Girl Scout cookies... #fattystatus

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

Brew coffee. Pour coffee. Burn mouth on coffee. Set aside coffee. Get sidetracked by to-dos and forget about coffee. Drink cold coffee.

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

DELIIIIILAAAH

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

Hey @KCAVP! Congrats-your ribbon cutting ceremony was amazing! I'm so moved by your mission to serve #LGBTQ youth in this region!

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

Started the day by dropping an earring in the toilet. Is that all ya got, Tuesday?! #bringiton

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

This is not an occupation
#chickenenthusiast

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

Alright, friends, you officially have 6 months to plan a visit to @KCMO! I promise to be the best tour guide you've ever had!

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

YOU GUYS #TWINSTERS ON @netflix IS INSANE #idiptheminpeanutbutter

[Emily Lowndes @em_clowndes]

One of the worst things I've seen in 2016 so far...