Em ✨

she/her • “very funny for a girl” - multiple sources

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

Hope Elon loves owning all my tweets about how much I love spritzing my b hole with my @hellotushy

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

ALL AIRPORTS NEED TO BE COLDER AND MY MCDONALDS HASHBROWNS SHOULD BE INCLUDED WITH MY TICKET

[4th haim sister @andromedism]

this is literally my number one boy idc

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

if i could read in the car it would be over for you bitches

[Lindsay B @theonlylindsayb]

yeah and its freakin mozzarella sticks

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

today is the perfect running weather and I am SICK and I hauled all my shit to Illinois for 1 shitty hotel treadmill run

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

@AHAJ_ What if we got into Calico Critters

[art @_artsartsarts]

ur telling me there is 37948 xmas songs about love and gifts but not one about hiding at the family function bathroom hitting ur vape

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

@AHAJ_ I WILL END HER

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

i just honestly don’t think i’m in a mental place to handle a 40+ hour work week especially getting paid what nonprofs get paid but like, what if i go in halfsies

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

seeing a student matinee reminded me that i actually love theatre and what if i didnt take a hiatus and just went back to school and had a part time theatre job uh oh

[Coral Island @coralislandgame]

💘Popularity Contest💘

Meet Mark: Part-time B.O.S. hunter, full-time animal shelter volunteer. At home, he's 'Uncle Mark,' spoiling Bonbon, his niece's dog, and teaching her things like gardening and bug catching. And get this: he hits the hot springs in summer! Seriously, Mark? Aren't you hot enough?! Huehuheu.

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

@AHAJ_ Mark girlies only sorry!!!!!!!!!!!

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

In a different universe, I work at the BP on the corner of Army Trail and County Farm

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

A sunny sunday run while everyone is burning their leaf piles??? Don’t mind if I diddly-do neighborino

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

The year is 2023, I want a bong I can put in the dishwasher

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

@tinydancer619 literally thought this same thought her mama is PROUD

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

If you see me crying at SNA or O’Hare today - no you didn’t!

[oatmeal influencer @acechhh]

she’s a girl’s girl. i sense that

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

the worst part about owning cats is that gus and ivy cant come to my wedding

[Em ✨ @em_guts]

I’m going to my parents house for like 3 weeks so apologies now for all unhinged content