Emily

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

My power is out in my kitchen and I nobody is available to come until tomorrow to look at it.... I’m debating going on tinder to find an electrician to come look at it today... is that wrong????

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

Was just talking to my mom and told her how I went out last night and she asked “did you go out with experiment 101 or experiment 103?” 🤣🤣☺️

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

Do you ever feel like people slide into your DM’s on Instagram just so they can go see if you’re active later on... because same

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

I wish people would stop beating around the bush with me and just say that they know something that will hurt me. Because I know... you don’t have to pretend I don’t

[Chris Bukowski @chrisjbukowski]

Unpopular opinion - don’t like Hannah Ann. #TheBachelor

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

There are two types of people in this world: the people that get mad and yell when flights get delayed and the people who stop to say thank you to the airline attendants for getting us on another plane tonight.... be the kind person! It’s not hard

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

Reasons to not get married young.... I have two friends, one 26 and one 27 that got married at 22/23 and are getting divorced...

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

If your best friend doesn’t send you poop memes when you say you’re going to poop is she even your best friend

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

My sister just called me to ask what kind of whiteclaw I like and I told her and she said ok I’ll get you the 12 pack and if you don’t finish it you’ll be home in the summer anyways... LOL does she really think I can’t finish a 12 pack!? That’s cute...

[Cloyd Rivers @CloydRivers]

Merica.

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

Get you a man that says “ok so do you want me to hype you on how good your hair looks or do we want to rage about how that bitch cut off way too much” 🤣

[Brandon Calvillo @BJCalvillo]

Friendsgiving but it’s just watching reruns of Friends alone while eating turkey and sobbing.

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

I got into my Uber last night and I was crying and the driver gave me a tissue and said do you want to stop at a gas station for some alcohol? And I’ve never given a better tip. You the bomb Alan!

[Would You Rather? @YouChoices]

Animals or minds?

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

Kind of want to go ski, kind of want to lay in bed and do nothing today

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

My roommate texted me today and said “want to get sauced and go to the gym” 🤣🤣 this is why she’s my best friend!
Update: we went to the gym (sober) then came home and made margaritas 😋🍹

[Emily @Em_Hewie2]

My brother in laws just started a group chat with just me and them and named it “sluts anonymous” and I’m dying 🤣🤣🤣