Emily Schmemily

Twenty-Something. Coffee Addict. Designer. Artist. Writer. Michigan girl.

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

There's a 78% chance there's still shampoo in my hair. #hotmessexpress #allaboard

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

My husband just threw a dollar at me so he could rent Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory on my Amazon account. #MarriedLife

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

When your husband texts you for the WiFi password and mistakes the exclamation point at the end for enthusiasm. #whywontitwork #marriedlife

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

Stalking my wedding photographer’s social media like #afterthewedding #newleyweds @brides

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

Petition to start using “I’ven’t” instead of “I have not” or “I haven’t” #funwithapostrophes

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

I was just staring at my phone in my hand and thought "wait, did I grab my phone off my desk?" *looks in purse* #facepalm

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

There was a coffee taste test at work this morning. So, I guess you could say my Thursday is off to a pretty great start. #Coffee

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

After interacting with business people from Europe, I can't help but think Americans have it all wrong. 3 day weekend? Try 3 week vacation.

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

Seeing other people make dumb decisions gives me anxiety. That probably means I shouldn't have kids, right?

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

There isn't enough coffee in the world for today.

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

I'm drinking one of THE worst cups of coffee on face of the planet. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. #notthatiwasthatmighty

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

Sunday night anxiety lends to an exhausting Monday morning. #isit5yet

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

It's so cold in this building, I'm going to die a slow and chilly death.

[BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed]

I just found out why we say "tick tock" and not "tock tick" and I'll never be the same https://t.co/jhlFnKpImr

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

The internet is a dangerous place if you missed last night's #GameOfThones #spoilers

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

Stress-eating chocolate like the dementors are around the corner.

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

How does the "joy of cooking" work again? I've experienced a lot of things while cooking - dread, hatred, disgust - but joy? #notahousewife

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

Not to beat a dead horse, but if you aren't reading @theskimm you're missing out. Check it out here: https://t.co/zH5WvKg4kQ

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

Webinar! #ashleystahl #letsgetajob

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

I may be between jobs right now, but I just scored 25/25 on an online grammar quiz, so I've clearly got a lot going for me. #adulting

[Emily Schmemily @em_schmem]

@suzziers All advice can't be good advice