emma bird

I’m an actor and sometimes I tweet

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

Romanticize Your Life

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

the only bad thing about living alone is misplacing your cell phone. speaking of, can someone call me

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

If anyone’s looking to move to LA and wants to sublet my apartment lmk ☺️ (not moving out of LA, attempting to move out of the valley)

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

Neurotypical’s describing themselves as “quirky” is appropriation and no I will not elaborate

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

Texts from father

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

Drinking beer on a lake in WI or MO? I’m crying. Beautiful. It’s magnificent.

Beer literally anywhere else? Serviceable.

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

You ever put a new deodorant and perfume combo on and suddenly you’re like OH HELLO AUNT LOMA

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

The standard for men is so low

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

I’m pretty bomb at love letter writing

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

*add improv to that list and it’s accurate now

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

i'm in my kiwi-eating, stuffed animal vegetable soup musical era

[Harry Wood @harrymwood]

Me: I made this much money this year

IRS: ok great, you get a $200 rebate

Me: cool! Oh wait, I forgot—I also did this freelance gig that paid me 4 dollars

IRS: you fucking WHAT?? Ok, THATS it—actually you owe us eight THOUSAND dollars you FUCKing PSYCHOPATH

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

In case anyone was wondering, tomorrow (or today) is Wednesday

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

The good thing about staying up late is you can do Duolingo before bed and save your streak twice in one day

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

I can’t explain it but Pinterest gives me hope

[leti @eaturlettuce]

you’re still a poet when you aren’t writing you’re still a poet when you aren’t writing you’re still a poet when you aren’t writing you’re still a poet when you aren’t writing you’re still a poet when you aren’t writing you’re still a poet when you aren’t writing you’re still a

[Ian McKellen @IanMcKellen]

Please note that I am not paying for the blue checkmark, which I've displayed for many years.

[sarah jae @sarahjaeleiber]

Why? Because she’s brought a ludicrously capacious bag. What’s even in there, huh? Flat shoes for the subway? Her lunch pail? I mean, Jess, it’s monstrous. It’s gargantuan. You could take it camping. You could slide it across the floor after a bank job

[cassidy xcx @olsencassidy]

Why? Because she’s brought a ludicrously capacious bag. What’s even in there, huh? Flat shoes for the subway? Her lunch pail? I mean, Greg, it’s monstrous. It’s gargantuan. You could take it camping. You could slide it across the floor after a bank job

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

Them: wyd?

Me: on nothing, just daydreaming about having a sugar daddy that buys me every book on my thrift books wish list and never talks to or perceives me

[emma bird @emahBEEE]

@JoeBiden please do not take TikTok from me