ozyemandias

hell is empty and all the devils are here.

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

me: *falls down stairs*

kind stranger: oh, you poor thing!

me: *tears in my eyes* why did you have to bring my finances into this

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

@giselabarreto7 girl do you realize how scary and off-putting this would be in real life

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

@kt_blackster lmao

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

@reverend_px @GMRench Jesus had a lot to say about the hypocrisy of the Jewish religious leadership of his day, for sure. i don't see how this supports a racist worldview of individual Jewish folks. any scriptures to back this up, or are you gonna keep talking outta your ass?

[xan @G59_Xan]

i’m gonna lovebomb my wife (love her unconditionally) for 70 years then ghost her (die)

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

incredible take because you know this guy isn't getting any, straight or gay

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

you're telling me this ISN'T an onion news article??

[New York Post @nypost]

Minneapolis may legalize adult bathhouses - allowing adults to engage in sexual activity https://t.co/OTnhxHth3q

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

this tweet has the energy of a vampire being like "ooh, what are y'all up to in there? how about you invite me in"

[MrBeast @MrBeast]

Now that Japan sees our tweets, I’m curious what’s popping on Japanese YouTube? Like what videos do you guys watch over there

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

...i'll take the Gucci bags.

[Dear Self. @Dearme2_]

The goal is neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr gucci bags. It's acres of land.

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

@OldeWorldOrder shut the fuck up. dear god, just shut. the. fuck. up.

[Jasmine Amy Rogers @jasmineamyr]

It’s amazing how you can blame every Muslim person for 9/11 but get all bent out of shape when someone distrusts white people as a group for their brutal and never ending colonization of the world.

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

@ArynneWexler i've seen TED talks with more punchlines, although i'm happy we're bringing back original comedy with premises like "women can't drive, amirite?"

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

@AleksPhoenix hey thanks for your snarky review! after watching this clip i can't wait to watch the full film now

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

@Cr7Godbrand lmao did you get cursed by a witch buddy?

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

@Anarseldain so you played video games as a child and now you're an insufferable, unfuckable social pariah? contribute less to the West, damn

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

"Jesus loves you" okay but then why did he send his narcissistic, self-absorbed, holier-than-thou, disrespectful messenger to preach AT me? he's not sending me his best, so that says a lot about how he really feels about me

[Tessy @nubianqueentess]

Yesterday, in the quiet zone section of the train, I shared a very brief word. First time ever sharing on a train. It was short, but I’m glad I obeyed.

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

@MeghanMcCain this is a great site because people just post about how stupid and out of touch they are for free

[ozyemandias @emanbelanger]

anytime i feel embarrassed about something cringey i did, i'll simply remind myself that it could never be as bad as this

[Case Bradford @Casebradford]

Milk is back

People are celebrating