Emily Carey

Every breath is agony, son

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

Just won an argument in my mind with a girl that was mean to me in 7th grade

[suzy shinn @suzyshinn]

it’s crazy that not only do i have to exist but then i have to find parking

[i can be your long lost pal @PallaviGunalan]

what’s a good male performance where he’s being so small just a tiny little guy

[brent @murrman5]

getting pulled to the side on iron chef and being told im using too many paper towels while I cook

[david @sweetbanisters]

in case florence + the machine comes on shuffle

[Drebae @Drebae_]

RIP Betty White 🤍 my sis served all 99 years

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

Gilmore Girls hits different when you have a daughter 🥲

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

She loves seeing her face as much as I do 😭

[Gemma Correll @gemmacorrell]

anxiety / festive anxiety

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

Might spoil myself and take a shower while Rosie sleeping tonight?? We’ll see

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

@jackdangerbeers Chicken and guns! It’s a food truck with the best chicken and fried potatoes. We get it every time we go! Also pine state biscuits is so bomb

[keegs @KeegsOnline]

Drake is the type of guy to say “mi mi mi mi mi mi mi” when he snores

[Ben Rosen @ben_rosen]

thank you to the editor who added a little photo of a toilet for clarity

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

NOOOOO GODDAMIT. Oh my God what is even happening.

Good bye, Norm. You were never not 100% hilarious.

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

@iancarey20 It’s so accurate

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

@moody1_7mac Thank you!!

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

She’s here and she’s perfect! Rosemary James Medrano

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

@captainnsierra Thank you!!!😀

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

@Corallsheaa_ Thank you!!❤️

[Emily Carey @emdogg1106]

@Original_Lexus Thank you! 🥲