EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes

Writing Emeril Lagasse fanfic instead of helping the boys operate a forklift (I'm the only one certified at work)

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

Just a school bus get gas. Never seen that before! Didn’t know they did that #cuteautonation

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

Taylor Swift’s songs are so basic they could neutralize stomach acid.

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

You’re absolutely right. Like Robin Hood you should take it and give to the poor, aka the next poor soul who will marry him after he gets divorced for this ultimatum.

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary thank you everyone for celebrating me. Let’s make this new year worth it. Love all my many followers. Bye

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

Is that someone cosplaying a studded car mat? Asking for a friend.

[AmericasMostHaunted @amhaunted]

I get it, you don't like people

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

The one where a gigantic marshmallow man destroys the city…oh sorry thought this was ghost busters.

[Ghost Adventures @GhostAdventures]

What episode of #GhostAdventures have you told all your friends to watch? 👻

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

Fleshy, Bony, Muscly. Get you someone with these qualities.

[Power of Positivity @LIVEpositivity]

Describe yourself in 3 words ❤️

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

A decade away from social security, Congrats!

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

@dabombdottom They became Naked and Afraid.

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

@chefsymon Bet you wish it was on your head.

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

I can drink 12 gallons of Sunny D without burping even once. People love that I don't burp. That's all it takes.

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

No one yell AWOOGA and startle that big fella. He'll drop it on his feet and mama will have to call the doctor again. #Nomoremonkeysbitingdumbells

[NFT Ninjas @TheNFTNinjas]

Thanks to @JackedNFTs for our first gifted NFT to add to our marketplace!

Introducing @JackedNFTs #957 as our twelfth NFT that will be available for purchase in our $STEALTH marketplace.

Currently valued at 0.03ETH ($90)

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

He was wrong. Dr. Oz is the reason olive oil sales increased. He single handedly saved Greece's deteriorating economy. This is a poor decision.

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

@dabombdottom you sound like a lil beotch. only people who drink jamba juice drink seltzers. be a man.

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

What is the hell is this. Why does my boy Buster look like a Ted Mosby kind of fellow. Is Arthur wearing a weave? #insanity

[philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_]

The Arthur characters are all grown up

[philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_]

The Arthur characters are all grown up

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

Functional home? Yes.
Dysfunctional house? Yes.
I lived in a old house that leaked everytime it rained and had carpets so threadbare it looked like a kitchen net. Don’t get me started on the refrigerator. It would break down more times than a lady undergoing a midlife crisis.

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

Of course. Unless they are furries or fedora wearers, in which case I deliberately slam the door on them.

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

Rabies is rare too. But if you "find" it, you can't get rid of it. Get your pets vaccinated folks.

[Inspirational Quotes @TheQuoteBoook_]

Loyalty is rare. If you find it, keep it.

[EmeraldofEmeril'sEyes @emeraldofemeril]

Ray Romano is totally the type of guy to open 12 lunchables, take out the contents, and put them on a wood cutting board and call it a charcuterie board for his wife's "fancy" potluck.