E Dibs

If I can't snooze then I don't want to win.

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

"Get well soon!" -Well Salesman

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

Oh great, now I need a new calendar.

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

The band playing as the 311 Cruise Ship starts to sink: "Chill! Light on my sight as my ego becomes..."

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

Me opening a burrito restaurant: "Birria! It's sold in here! There must be some bone broth in the atmosphere!"

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

Hello yes, I am Dr. Acula, and this is my son, Scottb.

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

Oh, great, now I need a new calendar.

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

I don't believe in Trickle Down Economics I believe in Tickle Me Elmonomics

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

Whenever I find myself in an adaptable situation I'm like "oh yeah... I could get used to this."

[Velcro Fathoms @VelcroFathoms]

Cleared for takeoff. @emerdibs and I will be talking Wings weekly. If you like or don't like this 90's sitcom, tune in. https://t.co/YhQUr7lhne

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

@BDayBoysMitch try the BBQ Wings @ Damons in Glendale - they taste like the honey bbq chx at KFC in the 80s (this tweet brought to you by the @kylemooney episode of @doughboyspod from 1873)

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

So Shakespeare was dis lawyer but den he was dis bard

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

In 1993 I was a kid tripping balls watching a movie about balls tripping a kid and it was called Rookie of the Year.

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

@wnrcomedy Hi one time I saw you guys do a show where a gorilla kissed a Hyena. Was that based on a real time?

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

@HDTGM Have you guys already done Dream a Little Dream? or Dream a Little Dream 2? Amazing movies. #HDTGMIDEA

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

@DougBenson just so you know, the last line in Don't Be A Menace... is the weed smoking grandma saying "Damn! This is some good shit!"

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

If you close the lid before you flush your unreliable toilet, there's a moment where your turd is both flushed and unflushed #schroedingersscat

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

@emmaatree fellow Em here, and my fave number is also 6. Wonder if there's anything to that (prob not)

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

Oh great, now I need a new calendar.

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

Hi there my restaurant delivers pho straight to your booth and it's called pho-to-booth

[E Dibs @emerdibs]

Hey @TheSloppyBoys did I just stumble upon your side gig? https://t.co/jqnCibSobr