Emery Miller

I'm a girl. I say funny things. If you hurt me, my dad will hurt you.

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

“Burps are just farts that come out the other end.”

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

“Pretty soon, I won’t be shopping at The Children’s Place anymore. I have to find a tween shop.”

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

“Can you have your birthday party at @claires? Claire’s is a girl’s dream come true!”

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"I want to have a little boy and name him Casper, but the thing is, that's a weird name for an old man, so..."

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"In heaven, I won't get sore from dancing?!

HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!"

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"Deck the halls with physical therapy
Falalalalalala
My Aunt Tiffany just had surgery
Falalalalalala"
#NewXmasCarols

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"I want my hair to go down past my butt.

Well actually, I don't, because if I farted, it would go into my hair and make it stink." 💨

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"Ugh. Why do I have to be so popular in 4th grade?!

Boys are fighting over me again..."

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"In swimming, why do the boys wear panties?"

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"Dad, are you sure you don't want company in your bed tonight?

Well if you get scared, just let me know!"

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"Dad, I need a man that looks like you: shiny black hair, hairy arms, dirty feet, and most of all - wears skinny jeans."

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"Is that some sort of granny motorcycle?"

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"Addy, blowing up balloons is hard. I've been doing it since I was like 5."

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"What?! @AdalynMicah said we should clean our room nakedly. It was her idea."

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"Do doggies marry their brothers & sisters or do they just go into labor after licking each other?"

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"I wish there was an Emery Appreciation Day each year."

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"For homework I have to rhyme words. The first word is garden.
Does fartin' rhyme with garden?"

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"I'm NEVER gonna have a boyfriend...yet."

[Emery Miller @emerymeredith]

"We're staying in the mountains for the week?
That's going to be difficult.
There's no internet."