emgnarly

[emgnarly @emgnar]

i feel like when someone tells me they can only eat high quality dairy it’s the same as when someone tells me they can only put premium gas in their car

[emgnarly @emgnar]

can we go backwards a little with mirror technology? i just don’t want to be able to look so closely at my pores anymore i’m tired of it let’s bring back the mystery

[emgnarly @emgnar]

were adam and eve vegan?

[emgnarly @emgnar]

if you run out of comedies in your life try rewatching something that aired 2000-2009, preferably about 20-somethings who failed out of acting class pretending to be high school students

[emgnarly @emgnar]

the netflix show i’m watching also stars kristen bell so the point is that i wish not to be disturbed when i watch kristen bell

[emgnarly @emgnar]

netflix has now asked me twice in seven episodes if i’m still watching, while hulu asked me all of one time in the three seasons i binged of veronica mars.

[emgnarly @emgnar]

netflix has now asked me twice in seven episodes if i’m still watching, while hulu asked me all of one time in the three seasons i binged of veronica mars.

[out of context parks and rec @nocontextpawnee]

11 years ago today, Li’l Sebastian went up to horsey heaven. I miss him every day. 🐴👼🏼🕯🌳❤️

[emgnarly @emgnar]

me every time i’m in the car and decide not to risk my life to tweet my masterpieces

[MereKat @MereKatKat]

I thought of a REALLY good tweet & then immediately forgot it, so pretend this is it !

[Man in the Moon @moonmaninmoon]

Golf is pretty much playing fetch with yourself

[emgnarly @emgnar]

definitely wanna eat ice cream all the time definitely lactose intolerant

[emgnarly @emgnar]

@Clark_Week good news your neighbor is in love with you there is no other possible reason for this

[emgnarly @emgnar]

@Clark_Week This is actually nuts how do these people exist

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

Soup isn’t a meal. “I eat my dinner with just a spoon” you sound insane right now

[emgnarly @emgnar]

the last few days literally wish i could snap my neck because it just feels like that would make it not hurt

[emgnarly @emgnar]

twitter is weird because i genuinely just want to follow people who post funny things but twitter seems to think because i follow bleacher report that i want to follow accounts who talk about basketball and are NOT funny. not happening.

[emgnarly @emgnar]

@StevenRayMorris As someone who loves folding laundry this is all i want the bar is
so👏🏽low👏🏽 people

[emgnarly @emgnar]

if you have a hotmail account you’re a scammer or over 40 prove me wrong

[emgnarly @emgnar]

tonight i was leaving my parents house and realized it was the lunar eclipse and so i ran back in and dragged them all outside so we could look at it together and that’s what life is all about

[emgnarly @emgnar]

https://t.co/tqKL4bdtFX
literally my dream job to risk my life in attempts to shut down scam call centers across the globe

[emgnarly @emgnar]

By all means, let’s watch the ads in 4k and drop the quality to legally blind person once the ads are finally over