Emma Ham

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[Eli Hollywood @elilutsky]

If I was a baseball player my walk up music would be the amber alert sound

[Emma Ham @emhams]

“Ello, welcome to my oome. Thees ees un favoreet painteeng of mine, I find eet een un petit how you say… antique shop. Antique shop... I feel excited because eet ees mon eh… first time haveeng un new friend en mon apartmon!”

[Emma Ham @emhams]

It is Sunday the day of talking to myself in a French accent pretending I am explaining my French life to a new friend I invented in my head while I do dishes, laundry, etc.

[Emma Ham @emhams]

Any time someone says “you look like” they’re always wrong and I’m way hotter than that person and I’ll be suing them for defamation

[Emma Ham @emhams]

POV you’re a woman just trying to buy regular normal comfortable fucking clothes

[Emma Ham @emhams]

Speaking of, fuck Teller of the Penn and Teller Tellers

[Emma Ham @emhams]

Which one is Penn and which one is Teller does anyone even know

[Emma Ham @emhams]

The broccoli garnish in Chinese takeout boxes is an elite form of broccoli

[Emma Ham @emhams]

The Club is my living room

[Emma Ham @emhams]

I’m Bringing My Own Crackers And Fig Spread To The Club years old

[Emma Ham @emhams]

The last few days we’ll be having a regular conversation and then suddenly…

[Emma Ham @emhams]

She’s serving women in STEM realness

[CAPYBARA MAN @CAPYBARA_MAN]

love is love

[Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy]

A snail is just a walnut that has places to be

[Emma Ham @emhams]

I just want a REGULAR SHIRT. NOT A BODYSUIT. NOT A CROP TOP. JUST A SHIRT. PLEASE IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU.

[Emma Ham @emhams]

@monbon98 A land where parents ✨didn’t exist✨

[Emma Ham @emhams]

@monbon98 And they had that BASEMENT basement

[Emma Ham @emhams]

Me: How old are you?
Kid: I’m 6
Me: How long… have you been 6?

[Emma Ham @emhams]

Pretty lame that the Olympics has like a lot of winners and not just one but anyways