emily

!!! | Binghamton '21

[emily @emiiilyyn]

opening up a clean dishwasher is like the chores equivalent of getting iced

[zoë ✨🌙 @zoenone0none]

imagine you work as an icu nurse through covid and you become a reality star and then a man writes a nyt op ed about why he didn’t want to date you and then your best friend dates that man. ciara miller i am contracting an etsy witch on your behalf as we speak

[emily @emiiilyyn]

why doesn't trader joe's sell edibles

[Sidney Lisanza @sid_thesci_kid]

ARE YOU SICK OF AI?! BECAUSE WE DID IT AGAIN IN AN EVEN MORE OBSCURE SPACE THAN TEXT OR IMAGES. BUCKLE UP BECAUSE THIS WONT MAKE ANY SENSE UNLESS YOU LIKE PROTEINS 💃💃🧬🧵

[emily @emiiilyyn]

at what point did writing slam poetry about work become a thing on linkedin

[Elmo @elmo]

Has anybody ever seen a rock eat a cookie? Elmo is just curious.

[chrissy @chrissychlapp]

i’m a simple girl i love the color pink and i wake up everyday afraid of death

[emily @emiiilyyn]

the feminine urge to say “this would look better if i had a spray tan” everytime i put on an outfit

[ana @shivlestat]

dear men what’s stopping you

[emily @emiiilyyn]

what is a very cool and edgy way to ask the dj at a bar to play celine dion

[emily @emiiilyyn]

just realized that literally anyone could write a book about literally anything. no holds barred. in other news i am going to write a book abt ants

[emily @emiiilyyn]

i would say the main difference in my own experiences with starbucks vs dunkin’ isn’t in the coffee, but more about how when i go to starbs they tell me they like my top and when i go to dunkin’ they bully me for standing

[chrissy @chrissychlapp]

thank u to my weighted blanket where would i be without my weighted blanket

[emily @emiiilyyn]

what if i turned in my next graduate level research paper in comic sans

[emily @emiiilyyn]

@Spotify is there a reason u guys put kingston by faye webster on approx 10000% of ur playlists

[i yield my time. fuck you. @Jvan_V]

#HappyIndigenousPeoplesDay

[ꉂ • ༚ • ིྀ @PINKFR1DAY]

shit ain’t all bad i’m down medium

[chrissy @chrissychlapp]

ok mentally i am doing poorly but this is when i’m funniest so i think it cancels out ?

[emily @emiiilyyn]

love taking a hot shower and just slowly spinning around like a rotisserie chicken

[chrissy @chrissychlapp]

why am i like this 🖤

[im ave @tsve_]

i do not have “main character syndrome” i have “i am the only human character in a muppet movie syndrome”