emily levant

I'm usually better at talking about myself. Shout out to PWAN.

[emily levant @emily_levant]

In a Tesla, that new car smell is Elon Musk.

[emily levant @emily_levant]

I can’t be the only millennial who thinks this when I hear Mbappe.

[emily levant @emily_levant]

Great American State Fair is just Fyre Fest without a sexy influencer pre-hype shoot.

[emily levant @emily_levant]

Six Americans have died diverting the conversation away from the Epstein files.

[emily levant @emily_levant]

I wonder if this is how south Floridians felt during the Cuban Missile Crisis?

[emily levant @emily_levant]

::42 mins before every flight begins boarding::
“Can everyone in boarding groups 11 and F please line up directly in front of the gate?”

[emily levant @emily_levant]

lol bad bunny followed up by Carrie Underwood

[emily levant @emily_levant]

Trump’s new presidential plaques are the equivalent of a toddler scribbling on the walls. With a sharpie.

[emily levant @emily_levant]

I made jokes about hoping they’d cancel Kimmel when one of his shows would back up traffic on Hollywood Blvd. Which is about as good of a reason as this sad little crybaby man’s.

[emily levant @emily_levant]

@nbc6 What about all the “legals” who cause deadly car crashes?

[emily levant @emily_levant]

Flight attendant: Boarding group 1, line up!
Boarding group 6: Let’s bum rush the gate!

[emily levant @emily_levant]

@LastQuake Felt it!

[emily levant @emily_levant]

Where’s the DEI initiative for left-handed emojis?

[emily levant @emily_levant]

@ABC7 can you please share the location of the fire where your live camera is filming?

[emily levant @emily_levant]

Holy crap my car jumped in Westwood #earthquake

[emily levant @emily_levant]

If you’re a roofer in LA it’s actually just raining money right now.

[emily levant @emily_levant]

Hurriquake #Hilary the planet is sooo fucked

[emily levant @emily_levant]

Lolll we knew someone would get Coco eventually

[emily levant @emily_levant]

The family dynamics of our Easter Egg Hunt party are at EPA Superfund levels.

[emily levant @emily_levant]

O-o-o-ozemmmpic, ya knoooow

I mean, we all know how this one ends. Remember PhenPhen?

[emily levant @emily_levant]

@QuakesToday Westwood felt both