emily

I’m gunsta talk about the turtles

[emily @emilyakerman]

I still don’t know who bought me this almost 3 years ago but just know I use it daily and I god bless your soul daily.

[emily @emilyakerman]

All I want is a boob job, a hotel chocolat velvetiser, the ability to french plait my own hair and for this pandemic to be miraculously over is that SO much to ask??????

[emily @emilyakerman]

I still don’t know who you are. Just know I love you.

[michaela okland @MichaelaOkla]

Every woman I’ve ever talked to has been a bit embarrassed about who she dated when she was 19, like it was pretty much the lowest of her dating standards, so it’s rly funny to see grown men be proud of dating 19 year olds

[emily @emilyakerman]

I can’t remember the last time I bought @BurgerKingUK but I can only imagine the “loaded” fries aren’t being marketed like this 😂😂😂

[emily @emilyakerman]

Same vibes as my dad

[becca moore @becccamoore]

i need to start living the way she does .

[Simple Politics @easypoliticsUK]

Details to follow...

[emily @emilyakerman]

Can you get cravings in late pregnancy because I want to be smothered in hummus and drowned in milkshakes

[emily @emilyakerman]

Just had to say “pain au chocolat” to an actual French person and I’d like to die now please

[emily @emilyakerman]

One of my favourite things is watching a wildlife or programme and they call the lions and tigers and giraffes really traditional African and Asian names and then there’s a pair of pigs or something called Crackers and Keith.

[emily @emilyakerman]

I think I might have pregnancy induced restless legs because I just want to be tied to one of these bad boys and yanked about

[NHS Nurses @SocialistNHS]

People aren't dying because nurses are striking

Nurses are striking because people are dying

[emily @emilyakerman]

@tmbrxo It is a v stressful time

[emily @emilyakerman]

Happy “is that a blowing leaf in the road or a teeny tiny mouse” season for all who celebrate xxx

[emily @emilyakerman]

@avisaxenaallen Avi aren’t you the only daughter?

[emily @emilyakerman]

Have The Cold™️ and can’t take decongestants so can’t breathe. Had a coffee because I couldn’t sleep last night due to point number 1. Then had a coke because I have been craving one for ages. Caffeine usually causes breathlessness for me. I am not ok right now.

[emily @emilyakerman]

@sianlrn Icon

[emily @emilyakerman]

@sianlrn

[emily @emilyakerman]

Me, a Cancer

[shannon ♡ ∞ they/them @sparklesugglets]

✨sagittarius new moon themes✨ s/m/r

Pisces — a time for healing
Aries — emotions are running high
Taurus — have faith in your dreams
Gemini — take time to breathe out
Cancer — luck is on your side
Leo — the answers you need are coming

[emily @emilyakerman]

Telling my daughters pre school that no, we are not naming the baby Adrian is up there with one of the weirdest things I’ve had to say.

[emily @emilyakerman]

Tis the season to eat a shit ton of Boursin falalalala lalalala

[emily @emilyakerman]

let me know. Ps we already do all of the standard stuff, sleep in a plait etc. If you look at it, it knots.

[emily @emilyakerman]

I have gone 30 years not acknowledging how good I have it having hair that can go days without being brushed without a single knot but now I have a 7 year old with the thickest but finest long hair which is a recipe for one massive knot. If anyone has any magic remedies please