emily burnham

[big beauty judy @samwaltjones]

a rotisserie chicken is an SSRI

[emily burnham @emilybschreff]

@bobo_daggitt Where is the dislike button

[abby @outoflemonjuice]

if adults can still be employed after storming the capitol building i can probably get a job with a nose ring

[emily burnham @emilybschreff]

Today I ate three corn dogs before noon in a desperate act of self care

[Tim Carter @TimCarterDC]

Jim @Acosta: “I can’t ‘hereby claim’ a ham sandwich right now”

[Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously]

I can’t wait for Donald Trump jr. to go fuck himself.

[Ezra Klein @ezraklein]

Imagine if Trump cared about coronavirus as much as he cares about Joe Biden's son.

[Dan Pfeiffer @danpfeiffer]

Donald Trump is too lazy to try to understand his own conspiracy theories

[Kyle Woods @_kywo]

“I just couldn’t stand by and listen to his lies any longer.”

[Jabari Brisport @JabariBrisport]

Birds come to Bernie.
Flies come to Pence.

[pfpicardi @pfpicardi]

My debate insight is that Mike Pence is a little bitch. Thanks for watching.

[Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan]

Apparently Pence denies the existence of climate change questions. Answer the questions! #Debates2020

[Jon Favreau @jonfavs]

Swine flu bullshit is an example of having Fox News Brain. When you’re in that bubble, you can’t possibly understand how unbelievably fucking stupid that sounds to most Americans.

[Ezra Klein @ezraklein]

I'd still like to hear Pence answer the first question, about why America's death rate is so much higher than Canada's.

[Ezra Klein @ezraklein]

Susan Page should insist Pence actually answers her questions.

[Dahlia ⚢ @duhhitsDahlia_]

I’m not ugly but if you see me on my moms fb then idk what to tell you 😭😭😭

[emily burnham @emilybschreff]

does anyone else have a favorite tooth to floss? and every time u get to it ur like yesssss here we go buddy

[emily burnham @emilybschreff]

@champagnzee Get popcorn and watch the badgers hang out from safely inside my house 🍿🍿

[emily burnham @emilybschreff]

@thebulletin This isn’t how it happened at all guys

[Trey Kennedy @TreyNKennedy]

Day 1 in quarantine vs. day 50