emily

i'm joking

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

Tell me why they sell "no-show" socks for babies... They're gonna show. Babies don't wear shoes.

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

I am now a human mom and am more tired but baby is still less problematic than doggos. Will update again once we hit toddlerhood.

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

People say having dogs is nothing like having kids... as if I'm not cleaning up poop, getting up in the middle of the night, and fishing toys out of the toilet on the regular

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

nothing pairs better with my seasonal depression than election anxiety

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

If women ran the country, and they passed laws affecting men’s reproductive organs, I wonder what the men would do?

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

Just when you think your dog has outgrown the phase of eating things he shouldn't, you find a whole stick of butter missing 🥴

[m a x w i t t e r t @waxmittert]

I’m doing the lords work (judging)

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

I am getting real tired of Tuesdays that feel more like Mondays than Mondays do

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

Just saw a motorcycle cop parked on the highway putting on sunscreen and I don't know if I should be annoyed that he's about to run a speed trap all day or happy that he stopped to do skincare first @WichitaPolice

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

Are we done with Hey Dudes yet

[Danny DeVito @DannyDeVito]

Supreme Court my ass

[NCAA Softball @NCAASoftball]

"𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎ℴ𝓊, 𝓈ℴ𝒻𝓉𝒷𝒶𝓁𝓁. ℐ𝒻 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝒻ℴ𝓇 𝓎ℴ𝓊, ℐ 𝓌ℴ𝓊𝓁𝒹𝓃'𝓉 𝒷ℯ 𝒽ℯ𝓇ℯ, 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒾ℯ𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃 ℯ𝓋ℯ𝓇. 𝒮𝓊𝓇𝓇ℴ𝓊𝓃𝒹ℯ𝒹 𝒷𝓎 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒷ℯ𝓈𝓉 𝓅ℯℴ𝓅𝓁ℯ ℐ'𝓋ℯ ℯ𝓋ℯ𝓇 𝓂ℯ𝓉."

✍️ @MirandaElish

#WCWS x @CowgirlSB

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

not to be dramatic but I feel 8,000 times better when it’s nice outside

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

Losing Wordle for the first time is a pain I could not have imagined

[Ida Bae Wells @nhannahjones]

@David_W_Gordon I am not required to or interested in substantively responding to every piece of critique offered, as all critique is not credible nor worthy.

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

I like when men explain basic things to me because in my mind it’s not mansplaining, it’s more like when a toddler is really excited to tell you about dinosaurs and you’re like that’s right cutie! you’re so smart!! only one of us is being condescending and it’s me

[Kailey Sibley @kaileysibley]

“If you’re cold, your dog is cold too.”

My dogs:

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

Nothing says conscious capitalism like the 6am "Roads are very dangerous, so please drive safely on your way into work at our non-essential business" courtesy text message

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

People say having dogs is nothing like having kids... as if I'm not cleaning up poop, getting up in the middle of the night, and fishing toys out of the toilet on the regular

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

@Dyno_11 That McDonald's was an integral part of my youth sports travel experience

[emily @emilydeltaylor]

When did every rest stop restaurant on the Kansas turnpike get turned into a Hardee's and WHO ON EARTH requested that