Emily Hale

I think I'm getting a coldsore.

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

@callies_s Insert it and desert it

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

@camillecait @ASOS I’m so suspicious. I think they’ve received the return packages, and they’re keeping our money.

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

@camillecait @ASOS @ASOS_HeretoHelp THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY SENT TO ME about a dozen times. How are they getting away with this? After two weeks of this copy-and-paste bull, I’m going through my bank.

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

@callies_s Snort chortled

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

I haven't used Twitter for a year. Here are some other things I didn't do this year:

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

Rooney Mara's favorite band is KORN

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

Kanye West is a toe ring.

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

My mom got a handicap sticker for her minivan, so yeah, things have been pretty dope since you last heard from me.

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

My mom and I are writing a book together entitled:

"EMILY, WHAT'S MY PASSWORDDDDDDD???"

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

Don't take no for an answer until the hot girl files a restraining order, and even then...

- Wall Decal at Vivint Training Headquarters

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

I'd prefer to be cremated because I don't trust an undertaker to snatch my eyebrows.

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

@dundlewood @AJemaineClement I had tears streaming down my face from the pure bouts of laughter! I loved that half of their set was NEW!

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

@jrdync @AJemaineClement Sweetheart... It was better than EVERYTHING!

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

@AJemaineClement Sorry there were so many Mother Flippin' hecklers at Red Rocks tonight!

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

I threw so much shade at the boy in my class playing the electric keyboard while our teacher was talking that I ended global warming.

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

@aubreyannie @DanaSchwartzzz I'm doing my best to organize a support group, but if I even think about that book, I fall to pieces!

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

Walked out of my first class of Summer school today like...

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

@colbyajohnson When we meet irl can we get our teeth cleaned side-by-side?

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

Throughout my time away from Twitter the only thing I really thought about was @colbyajohnson's teeth.

[Emily Hale @emilyhaleyeah]

@callies_s I wish I knew what OTS meant and Urban Dictionary wasn't at all helpful.