Emily

*~just trying to turn all of my hard work into chicken nuggets~*

[Emily @emilyhellerrr]

The guy parked next to me at wawa is also eating his food in his car. This is the closest I've come to a date in a while.

[Mike Scollins @mikescollins]

When you're almost done picking teams in gym class.

[Maddie Poppe @MaddiePoppe]

Ppl are always like “if you knew how they make chicken nuggets you’d never eat them again.” And I’m like nah I know exactly how they’re made. You could play the vid right in front of me while I mowed down on a twenty piece and I wouldn’t be bothered.

[Mikayla Billteen @MikaylaMcgivern]

If dad bods are going to be the new, hot thing can we lower the standard for girls bodies? I like beer and food too

[Emily @emilyhellerrr]

The best ID pic I ever took was for my fake ID and that only lasted like 2 months. What a shame.

[Emily @emilyhellerrr]

@kristamosco credit card dawg

[Emily @emilyhellerrr]

Just when I think I'm growing up I realize that I left my debit card at kildares 10 days ago and have not picked it up yet.

[Tony Posnanski @tonyposnanski]

I literally can imagine the Philadelphia Eagles at a BBQ in Barack Obama’s backyard listening to Kendrick Lamar and Barack is grilling wearing an apron that says “Commander In Chef” putting Grey Poupon on everything.

[adam @brokeangeI]

me in middle school feeling like the class thot when my truth is facebook statuses got over 20 likes

[tiller @brysontiller]

so much hate in the world... try love

[:( @cozay__]

trump: congrats on the victory, come thru to celebrate!

eagles: nah, we don’t like you lol

trump: fine, y'all ain't invited anyway.

eagles: lol ok

[Y³ ++®۞҉҉҉҉҉҉ 𓀬 ++ ® @y3stillfresh]

well you’re fuckin missing.. https://t.co/4zPQ22tfgF

[marcel @marcelkoffi_]

I USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THIS TO RHYME LIKE THIS SO I HAD TO GRIND LIKE THAT TO SHINE LIKE THIS IN A MATTER OF TIME I SPENT ON SOME LOCKED UP SHIT IN THE BACK OF THE PADDY WAGON CUFFS LOCKED ON WRISTS SEE MY DREAMS UNFOLD NIGHTMARES COME TRUE IT WAS TIME TO MARRY THE GAME https://t.co/3OlkZd2tId

[Emily @emilyhellerrr]

I still don't know why Adam Levine named his daughter dusty.

[Emily @emilyhellerrr]

If you don't think it's always sunny in Philadelphia is funny then your sense of humor is wrong