★ emily ★

life is always rocky when you’re a gem 💎

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

him: you better not be a cunty side table when i get there

me:

[Sam Stryker @sbstryker]

If you’re in line to see Barbie STAY IN LINE!!!

[trash jones @jzux]

hey the screaming and crying and throwing up factory called. they need you back there for the night shift

[Alex Thompson @AlexThomp]

A Biden photobomb via the Nantucket Current

[tia @cursedhive]

rihanna leaving the super bowl stage after explaining all the new fenty products coming in 2024

[Rihanna @rihanna]

.

[john @johnsemley3000]

modern day pie-cooling-on-a-windowsill

[naman @deleuzesionaI]

by age 23 you should have at least two tattoos that you don’t regret but still make u kinda go “hmmm”

[Emma Ketchum @emmaketchup7]

A weighted blanket is not enough I need a hydraulic press

[Peli Grietzer @peligrietzer]

The greatest trick the devil ever played was taking the yolks out of six hard boiled eggs, mixing them with mustard and paprika, and spooning the mixture back in

[NukaSilverhand @judasxdeluxe]

Played monopoly on acid and became a communist

[klit klittredge @klitklittredge]

spoiler: it’s me

[Sahana Srinivasan @sahana_srini]

my pronouns are yes chef/thank you chef

[★ emily ★ @emilymae31]

@POTUS i wish you were a “cancel student loans” guy

[🐪 Miskeen and 5'14" @MoodyKnowsNada]

Dentist said i grind in my sleep i said bitch i know 💯💰📠