ツ

[ツ @emilymester]

my book comes out in november and u can “preorder” “it” “now”

[ツ @emilymester]

all i see is a woman taking her look from day to night what’s the issue

[ツ @emilymester]

@eleanoir i feel like dentistry in general must have changed a lot, bc i grew up hearing root canals discussed like these horrific procedures and i got one recently and literally fell asleep during it… did dentistry rebrand and decide to give us more drugs ??

[ツ @emilymester]

10 hours of 100 mice peeing at once for deep sleep

[ツ @emilymester]

idk i feel like kendrick says “may i use the restroom”

[ツ @emilymester]

@smittytoo never pay!! thank you for reading :)

[ツ @emilymester]

god made me gay so i could tell my dad it’s kinda gay that he shops at lululemon and nobody can get mad

[ツ @emilymester]

one holiday party and every friend is in my head lovingly

[ツ @emilymester]

also like $10k

[ツ @emilymester]

the only thing standing between me and a bbl is that i really love sitting down

[ツ @emilymester]

@notveryraven i still haven’t been to the midtown arby’s …

[ツ @emilymester]

i remember writing this like “wow i am cooking i bet nobody has described this before”

[chris randle @randlechris]

at her book launch @emilymester was dismayed to learn somebody had already coined “post-nut clarity”

[ツ @emilymester]

@gertsofficial a perfect interview !!

[Greta Rainbow @gertsofficial]

I interviewed @emilymester right before Black Friday, which she admitted was psychologically hitting. Her new book on our many forms of excess (shopping!! "junk food"! hoarding..) is v smart and surprising
https://t.co/CVdsnQasH5

[Lama Al-Arian @lalarian]

Israeli cabinet votes in ceasefire deal with Lebanon but we can still hear drones buzzing above us loudly, Israeli jets smashing buildings across the city and insane traffic jams filled with terrified civilians trying to get to safety.

[crist, mo @sitting_quietly]

"A Midwestern Baudrillard"
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I couldn't agree more! Congrats @emilymester on a glowing (GLOWING) NYTimes review wowowowow

https://t.co/0CPZD64MRm

[ツ @emilymester]

lol whoops broken link, anyway, click to read my thoughts about the bath and body works candle lady

[Electric Literature @ElectricLit]

Corrected link: https://t.co/1AlCkmybwo

[ツ @emilymester]

just released an excerpt from my book! it’s about the time I worked at Ulta baby

[Electric Literature @ElectricLit]

Emily Mester (@emilymester) on the ups and downs of working retail in an upscale mall at the height of holiday season
https://t.co/4eq2aarkHE

[ツ @emilymester]

i’m very good at buying things which also makes me very good at convincing other people to buy things and every day i have to resist the dark urge to monetize this brain disease

[ツ @emilymester]

@molochofficial oh my god

[ツ @emilymester]

@eleanoir starting to feel like the skincare industry is just the myth of meritocracy for your face