Emily

ask me to be in your band

[Emily @emilypappin]

.@kayoticgood explain

[Emily @emilypappin]

@kayoticgood @imalilugIy I am both honored and looking forward to seeing your face again

[Dana Schwartz - on hiatus @DanaSchwartzzz]

why isn't avatar: the last airbender streaming anywhere

[James @CaucasianJames]

just decided i’m gonna make some toast. not sure what i’m gonna do after, but that’s not important. all i can do is focus on the toast right now

[James @CaucasianJames]

i drop my phone all the time what makes u think i won’t drop ur baby. keep that thing away from me

[James @CaucasianJames]

almost back to my complete pale state. i will be a ghost by christmas. just floating around the christmas tree. checking out the ornaments

[Emily @emilypappin]

@miacantdraw You’re truly an icon

[john is toast @johnistoasted]

Trick or treating in the Midwest sucked shit growing up because I could never be just spider man I was always spider man with a fucking jacket

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

A truly incredible baby boomer move was deciding that all rock music by bands they like is “classic” no matter when it was made or whether it’s good.

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

gooooob morning. i would like a lot of support today. just in general

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

what if the lion king was a nature doc. like imagine scar throwing mufasa off the cliff while simba watched and a camera operator turning around in horror going “what... the fuck just happened” and david attenborough being like “keep rolling, we get everything”

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

boomers: millennials are *immoral* and only think about themselves

millennials: *sweating* would fleeing into the woods lower my environmental impact? am I supporting CEOs who are jerks to women? will I go to the Bad Place for drinking almond milk

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

"I hate that guy"
- too general
- lacks fervor
- just kind of meh

"I would eat his heart in the marketplace"
- specific
- actionable
- metal as hell

[UnDo 512 @undo512]

girls all go to the bathroom together so we can hold hands and cry about climate change in private

[rob sheffield @robsheff]

we don't talk enough, we should open up

[James @CaucasianJames]

getting a girls name tatted on me just so it looks like i have an ex

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

can’t believe none of my crushes have reciprocated my crushingness even though i’ve given them absolutely zero indication that a hardcore crush is underway