Emily

Taurus | Night Owl | Wanderer | IG: emkatesm

[Emily @emkatesm]

I need a vacation.

Or maybe what I really need is to run off and live as a hermit in the mountains with a pet goat named Pierre.

Pierre will be aptly trained to run errands for me to the nearby town, as he enjoys people and I do not.

#howsyourmonday

[Emily @emkatesm]

Hot take: being personable is a MASSIVE inconvenience at times.

[Emily @emkatesm]

Nothing like starting the morning with an email from your manager calling you “utterly dramatic”

Sorry, but who do people listen to - the actor or the scientist?

I’ll say the same thing again, but with more fervor next time.

[Emily @emkatesm]

Why am I binging the Jersey shore reunions rn sos

[Emily @emkatesm]

I’ve hired movers to pack for me, for the first time in my life…

Call 1
Me: do I need to do anything?
Them: nope!

Call 2:
Me: checking in, I really don’t need to do anything?
Them: no, you’re paying us to do it

Call 3:
Me: you sure?
Them: you can, but ur paying us to do it.

[Emily @emkatesm]

This is the year I run into every Mercedes contact and they say to me, “Do you work for Lambo now?!?”

Yes bebe.

[KP_ @KP_Folarin]

Who needs a damn break?!

[Emily @emkatesm]

7 mins till landing, wanted something to watch, decided why not shrek?

Look next to me post landing and the woman next to me had on the news.

Who made the better choice 🥴

[Emily @emkatesm]

If I ever hit you with a “hope you have a blessed week” just know I’ve cursed you.

[Emily @emkatesm]

Two thumbs down.

[Emily @emkatesm]

Me selling a destination to a client: “and now we have Wyoming, where cowboys are still cowboys”

[Emily @emkatesm]

Finishing a book always puts me in such melancholic vibes.

[Emily @emkatesm]

Fave song lyrics that I resonate with:
“On my own, pretending”

[Jenni @hashjenni]

Me smiling at you because I didn't hear anything you just said

[Emily @emkatesm]

If you get a text from me that ever starts, “ok” - I am loose of mind. Tread carefully.

[Chris @citehchris]

when i die spread my ashes around the rim of a margarita glass

[Emily @emkatesm]

“I’m fucking pissed” - Kadeema

Context: friend won’t send dog pic

[Emily @emkatesm]

“You’re creating stress for yourself” - Kadeema

Context: I got a duvet cover.

[Emily @emkatesm]

I need my Jean Valjean moment

[Emily @emkatesm]

If you’ve never cried in the back seat of a cab we’re not the same.