auntie em

a virgin who cant drive

[auntie em @emma_username69]

ServSafe really opening my eyes to some hot new takes tn

[auntie em @emma_username69]

Noah convincing two sharks to get on the ark

[auntie em @emma_username69]

Some scientists are now saying that 2015 was ten years ago 🧐

[auntie em @emma_username69]

Hey girl i like your façade

[auntie em @emma_username69]

The smoking a joint on the subway platform to having a crush on the train conductor pipeline

[auntie em @emma_username69]

S(he) (fart)ed

[auntie em @emma_username69]

Im like if that girl from broad city was that other girl from broad city

[auntie em @emma_username69]

Pinching every cop at the st patricks day parade for not wearing green

[auntie em @emma_username69]

One must always pretend one knows where "Bed-Stuy" is

[auntie em @emma_username69]

Just got this in a group chat from my high school english teacher

[auntie em @emma_username69]

@jessperatetimes Super Man

[auntie em @emma_username69]

@jessperatetimes Jurassic park. Dirty dancing cinema paradiso ? Honestly no clue what im supposed to be suggesting

[auntie em @emma_username69]

Hbo max is for smoking weed and amazon prime is for drinking

[auntie em @emma_username69]

His full name is harold potter

[auntie em @emma_username69]

The thing about grinding up weed and putting it into a bong and smoking it is that its almost exactly the same as being an alchemist and concocting your vile and mysterious experiments in your circular alchemical chamber of doom

[auntie em @emma_username69]

God gives his most whimsical accents to his least whimsical soldiers

[auntie em @emma_username69]

So youre telling me theres shrimp in this fried rice?

[auntie em @emma_username69]

I wish there was a show that could encompass both sex and the city

[auntie em @emma_username69]

First date idea: we watch this then i accidentally say i love you

[auntie em @emma_username69]

Call her myrtle the way i got her moaning