emma batson

what I lack in looks, I make up for in office references.

[emma batson @emmaa_batson]

Tell me how much I’ll regret having a baby in my 20’s while I’m double fisting margaritas in 20 years and you’re trying to find a babysitter for your 5 y/o

[nick @nickhansonMN]

i have to tell myself to shut the fuck up and stop overthinking at least 30 times a day

[JbHoops93 @JBsoHood]

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. I’ve had enough

[emma batson @emmaa_batson]

@anxiousmama5 It is definitely one of the saddest experiences for a new mom. I had to get my mom to come with me the second trip when my son got his. Just remember, a fever and tears are better than polio!!

[Trey @treydayway]

Store opens at 8 am

Old people at 7:52 am

[emma batson @emmaa_batson]

I survived my first tire season and it only cost me 23 pounds #stressedbutblessed

[emma batson @emmaa_batson]

The highlight of my day was the phone call I got at 5pm : “hello my car was in for service today and now I can’t turn my lights on” “we’re your lights on automatic?” “Yes” “okay try turning them on” “I don’t know how. If I come in now can you fix it?” 🙃 o.k.

[adam @brokeangeI]

i’m suing the next person who’s mean to me because i’m in a mood

[emma batson @emmaa_batson]

Can’t wait to work 13 hours todayyyyyyy

[emma batson @emmaa_batson]

so amped I worked my ass off to have the government take 670 of my bonus. Really fucking awesome.

[emma batson @emmaa_batson]

I hate all of the things.

[emma batson @emmaa_batson]

So apparently if you’re a mom you need to lose the idea that you can build a career bc ur losing out on making memories w ur family. Apparently, it’s family or career. We are incapable of having both, apparently.

[Baked Beauty @BakedBeauty420_]

I tried the pills. Hundreds of them. They never came close to having the same effects a couple hits of weed does. 🤷🏼‍♀️ If you want to continue to be ignorant about cannabis that’s on you. I’m going to keep smoking weed and being a dope ass mom. ✌🏼

[𝒥𝑒𝓌𝓁𝒾𝑒 @jelly_momm]

You know what’s cool about mom friends. You can text them at 6am and they’ll probably be awake

[emma batson @emmaa_batson]

Hi everyone weed is legal in case u missed this 48648965k other tweets

[kait @___hunnibee]

It’s actually so rude that laundry is a never ending cycle

[Felicity @FlossAus]

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running to the bathroom/fridge/bedroom in a single ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ONNNNNN” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

[emma batson @emmaa_batson]

@potterje_97 @edwina_santi 😂😂😂😂

[Sarah Belle @sarahbelle93]

Whoever is excited about it being October 1st clearly doesn’t have rent due today