Words of Emma Heaphy

📚Author of “Dear Motherhood” & “Mother On” AVAILABLE👇🏻| Mama of three writing honest motherhood | Qualified lawyer

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

“I’d really love for you to hold my new baby, just so I can drag my broken body around the house doing house chores while hearing her cry for me” said no mom ever.
Help a mom first, hold the baby second.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

Society: Instead of making women who are yet to have children feel like their career will be lost to motherhood, maybe you could tell them that they will be found by others who need them. We were all children once weren’t we?

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

She knows her children are not a burden to bear.
They are a beauty to behold.
All she’s saying is that mothering can be hard sometimes.
And she’s allowed to.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

I’m at the stage in my motherhood where much of my day consists of letting my children make more mess somewhere else just so I can clean up where they have just been. Make it make sense.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

I just took my three children under four to a cafe. That cafe had toys, colouring in books and crayons. My children had fun, and I managed to drink my coffee hot. This is an example of what supporting mothers and their children in modern society looks like.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

My eldest child just told me “You’re a good mum”. And although she’s still young, in that moment she reminded me of something important - The true judge of my mothering will always be my children. No one else.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need to feel guilty for accepting help in your mothering. People wouldn’t offer to help if they didn’t want to. You are not burdening anyone.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

I vote for losing the terms SAHM & working mother, because we all work regardless of where, most SAHM’s leave the house most days anyway & all mothers have the same goal - to provide for our children. I vote for mothers being called “mothers”because that’s what we are, together.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

Modern motherhood is thinking ahead for your family, while simultaneously thinking you’re falling behind in something else. There’s so much pressure to do it all when the “all” is often too much. It’s no wonder mothers everywhere fall into the trap of thinking they’re not enough.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

Sometimes it’s the small gestures from other mothers that mean the most.
Like the coffee and scone dropped off at your door without warning. Not because you needed the coffee or scone. But because you know she made space to support you, when she’s got so much going on too.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

I didn’t have formal training. I didn’t need to sit exams. I didn’t get handed a manual of “how to mother”. Yet I give myself a hard time when I feel out of my depth, question the “right way” or have a hard day as a parent.
Thanks society, but your pressure isn’t welcome here.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

It is incomprehensible to me that news I struggle to bring myself to read as a mother of young children, is what other mothers of young children have to live. I have no words. Just an aching heart 💔

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

Instead of asking her how her baby is sleeping, perhaps ask her how HER night was. Because that subtle shift in questioning can be the difference between a mother feeling valued and seen, rather than frustrated and invisible.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

The word “mother” is a noun, but I wonder whether it would be more appropriately classified as a verb, because a mother is more than a name. She is the act of constantly doing, trying and being. She is the definition of loving.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

I’m imagining what it’d look like if every little thing we did as mothers was seen, valued and recognised by society as much as paid work. And aside from happier mothers, my mind takes me to a society of deep indebtedness. Because we do so much, it’d take A LOT to repay us.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

The moment your body has the urge to respond to the question “how are you?” with tears, is often the moment you realise a) just how not fine you are and/or b) how unseen you have been feeling. This moment can happen a lot in motherhood. And sadly, many know it too well.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

The amazing thing about a mother is that while she’s mothering, she’s also managing to be and do everything else that others require of her, regardless of how tired she is or how much support she may be without. And that right there is what makes her (and breaks her) sometimes.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

Yesterday I was taking a break while my husband was with our children in a nearby room. At one point I heard my 3 year old struggling with her emotions. My husband’s response was “I’m here, would you like a cuddle?”
That’s why he’s my husband and the father of my children.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you bought your hot cross buns this year, you are still a great mom. Your love language may just look different to others.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

She’s not being over the top with her parenting choices. She’s being sensible. After all, she’s the one who deals with the fall out when everyone else goes home. And she knows what’s needed to make the hard that little bit easier. So don’t judge her. Make it easier for her too.

[Words of Emma Heaphy @emmaheaphy_]

Telling yourself that you are not enough as a mother when you have given it your best shot every single day since you became one, is pretty much the same thing as telling your child that you expect them to be a superhero when they grow up.

Read that again.