emma golden miller

Full-time freelance writer, part-time influencer. I do lines of anxiety for breakfast (lunch and dinner) and have been blogging for ~40 years.

[emma golden miller @emmasthing]

@MindyFurano i’m dead

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

Kamala starting a rumor that Beyoncé is performing to get ratings up for her DNC speech.

[Megan Nyvold @MeganNyvold]

Biden literally broke up with us via text and ghosted us wtf men they are all the same

[kuz @kylekuzma]

All these threats to democracy have me thinking why one party didn’t let their party vote for a nominee 🧐

[Bess Kalb @bessbell]

Well, we gave it a try, but it looks like a handful of notes app screenshots on social media didn’t solve the current global crisis! We will try again next time!!!

[brooke @ladyefron]

worked up the courage to post a photo of myself on the beach in a bathing suit and someone comments “you have a beautiful soul” does anyone have a gun

[greg @greg16676935420]

Name something more pointless than these two cupboards. You can’t.

[emma golden miller @emmasthing]

@molls look at him. WHAT OTHER ROLE COULD HE POSSIBLY PLAY

[emma golden miller @emmasthing]

@rischievous @TaylorOSoule it’s true! my hair is 3b/3c and i wore it natural!

[emma golden miller @emmasthing]

snl was painful tonight

[emma golden miller @emmasthing]

@allisona15 wtf did i just watch and why

[AA @aliskor15]

Megan Fox: “you can taste the dishonesty it’s all over your breath”

Also Megan Fox: deletes all photos of her fiancé

Also Megan Fox: why would you losers think someone cheated?!

[emma golden miller @emmasthing]

saw a bumper sticker this morning that said “don’t happy. be worry.” and i thought to myself… yeah. exactly.

[emma golden miller @emmasthing]

@GuardianJessica i don’t have a bunch of accolades to spout about but i am a writer and i’m funny and i’d love to know why you need funny writers.

[emma golden miller @emmasthing]

presented work to a new client today and she burst into happy, seen tears. it was the confidence boost i’ve been in dire need of. #copywriting #freelancewriter