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High-capacity fully automatic Puns, Snark, the Oxford Comma and bad jokes. Registered Scofflaw. Solely responsible for Climate change.

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@PolitiBunny Now we see the violence inherent in the system - help Foo's being repressed. (Hope that helped)

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@LadyJessMacBeth *crosses arms and nods head*

Dang it, my genie powers are on the fritz #GenieFail

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@mk_wigginton If you enjoy being verbally abused - Dick's is your huckleberry.

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@AOC The beauty of humans is that we adapt and overcome. We lived through Ice Ages, we will endure.

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@TheValuesVoter Be snarky and eat fruit rollups, and you're all out of fruit rollups.

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@MichaelAvenatti @zoli_bojtos @FoxNews @TuckerCarlson "Pot it's me kettle, just tweeting to tell you you are black"

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@jellybnbonanza @pipandbaby Necessary no, but who wears clothes inside the house. Bunch of puritans

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@jawillick @ScotsFyre "Period." is not a complete sentence. It's worse than playing cards with my sisters kids.

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Me: shoot the church doesn't have any ashes for service last night.
Thanos: I got you bro, be back in a snap

<3

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@Mcphie00 @ToddCollins1984 The birthright of Isaac was God's Kingdom and Esau's descendants attacked Israel in league with Ishmaelites so...yes.

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@Mcphie00 @ToddCollins1984 Worked for Esau

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@ColMorrisDavis @GOP @realDonaldTrump @senatemajldr @Morning_Joe 1. Inviting the queen of England to take back her colony.
2. Hating Apple Pie (especially with vanilla ice cream)
3. Pisśing on John Wayne's grave

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@TeamPelosi @OldestguyJoe Just because I placed a pot shop accross the street from a polling place with a sign that says "vote here for free samples" does not mean I am suppressing democrat votes. Sheesh Nana!

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@revjktullos Drive by ashing could be worse.

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@VitruvianMonkey @pcarenza Trust no tweets that uses words.

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@wusa9 This is an abomination.

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@LibertyJen You and Carli Simon

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@_wintergirl93

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@LibertyJen @JHolmsted I mean you poop in one box and send it to cologuard, it's called "medical testing" you send it to a congressman, they all of a sudden call it "psychotic." What a double standard amirite #Rigged

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@jenniferlee_75 Here you go