Emily Spillane

Washed up athlete

[Emily Spillane @emspilll]

Walking into school on the first day like @meganpereiraa

[Ashley Green @agreenphotog]

I’m sorry but there’s nothing funnier in the state of Massachusetts than the size of this rock

[Rob Gronkowski @RobGronkowski]

Tommy, since I already wrote you a long retirement message last year, this time I shall say, welcome to the 2x retired club.

You’re a legend and you always will be, my friend ♥️🏉 @TomBrady

[TIM BLAIR @TlMBLAlR]

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast

[Robert Schultz @_RobertSchultz]

trump announcing he's running for president one week before we have to see all our uncles at thanksgiving is arguably the most twisted thing he's ever done

[BRYCEWOLLMANN!!! @TheBigAndSexy70]

Friendsgiving and everyone gets a rotisserie chicken and a 4loko

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

pretty rude that work disrupts my honkshoo honkshoo mimimimi

[bee alexander is barely here @boothskeletons]

inspired by true events

[eliza @elizamclamb]

When you borrow a tampon from a girl and she gives you a light one.. it’s like wow ok sorry didn’t know I was in the presence of the most dainty and delicate pussy in the world

[Drewberz @buddy_ferrara]

something to take the edge off

[Mass Problems @ProblemsMa]

We’ve all been there #MassachusettsProblems

[Drewberz @buddy_ferrara]

gonna be the coolest house on the block this Halloween

[Liam @liamsevenaugust]

queen elizabeth is currently listening to "locked out of heaven" by bruno mars https://t.co/FQAJlzZFSL

[Abby Noyes @NoYesMaybe24]

We did “dress like an iconic duo” night on vacation and LOOK AT MY PARENTS!!!!

[PrincessMuppet @PrincessMuppet]

Therapy isn’t enough I need to meet The Muppets

[Shannon Nunzio @ShannonNunzio]

“Well would you sleep well if you just got a new butthole?” -Emily