emily pfister

pro hoe on the low low

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

today I sat at a round table meeting with 10 DILF’s that were all doctors and at the end got asked what i learned and i said “that 7 of the 10 of y’all are married” I am out of control

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

@makaylacheycook omg best show ever. watched for nearly 10 years now

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

asked my mom to send me a packing list for our trip tomorrow, and she took me so literally that she even included how many pairs of underwear and socks to pack… what a women

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

@YAAAH_RACH @mcuban anna does too

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

@YAAAH_RACH @twi_age ahhh yes 4 years ago when you made me make a twitter🥳

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

a couple months ago I didn’t text a guy back FOR 1 DAY and he texted me and said “idk if you’re dead or not into me but your loss lol” and i think about this often...

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

I have a lot of questions when it comes to adulting, but my biggest one is....where does all this dang dust come from???

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

at this point throwing up after I drink has become a character trait of mine.

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

I wonder how long Pence will have a fly on his head before somebody tells him

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

I have had a job since i was 16 but this month was the first month I was able to save enough to pay my entire rent, on top of starting nursing school.
when hard work pays off it’s a one of a kind feeling

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

@noellopez00 we all know I don’t have the cooking abilities even for an easy bake oven. we’re lucky it turned out edible

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

I made a casserole last week and had it for dinner the last 7 nights. if this is what adulting is like, I want absolutely NOTHING to do with it

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

@bexter24 this makes my heart explode for you. you deserve all the happiness and so much more

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

i’m not even a dog person I do this. thankful for dogs breaking the awkward tension

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

I hardly have time to put deodorant on in the morning, idk how people have time to make their phone screens look so pretty

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

I wanna know who is giving out my instagram name because I get atleast 5 “sugar daddy” friend requests a day...

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

my mom said I looked like I lost weight. had to remind her of the “back to school anxiety diet” that I am on :)

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

y’all thought I was dramatic before? you just wait now that i’m in nursing school and can self diagnose my self with anything

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

@ambxrlyyx @deon_bond @WCU @PhiMuGammaMu no girl in this video is a member of Phi Mu Gamma Mu. we are a chapter that built on love, honor, truth; none of which are shown in this video.

[emily pfister @emwpfister]

@bexter24 i’m happy knowing my gal is happy. love you so much becs💗