Getting used to being liked likely means you are overfit to RLHF.
The problem with overfitting is that the pain overwhelms the limbic system once you try to sample trajectories outside the known distribution.
As more people like you, your sampling regime becomes smaller and smaller to avoid negative feedback. Eventually you get stuck and become a slave to your own feelings.
That’s why I have never seen a model student happy once they become a “model”. Their weights are frozen and cannot be updated anymore. They cannot risk being better than their own SOTA.
We modularize code to manage complexity.
We should modularize friction to improve conversion.
Stop designing funnels like a single giant leap. Design them like a sequence of small commits.
In engineering, modularity keeps code sane.
In marketing, the same idea applies to friction.
Don’t ask users to go 0 → 100 in one jump. Break the friction into pieces.
Example:
Going from visitor → paid plan might be a “100” friction move.
Instead:
- 0 → 50: start a 7-day free trial
- 50 → 100: convert trial to paid
Same destination, smaller steps. People say yes more often.
A Nigerian man seeks companionship, he does not ask himself if he is kind enough, if he is interesting enough. He does not care about emotional availability, neither does he care about personal growth. What does he do? He calculates whether his account balance has crossed some invisible threshold that makes him deserving of companionship.
It is why brothers in their 20s and 30s with decent jobs and good characters still insist they are "not ready" for a relationship. Not ready, they mean, to be the walking ATM they've been conditioned to become. By the time they finally "achieve," they've lost the capacity for stillness. They can sit in boardrooms for hours but cannot sit with a partner for thirty minutes without their minds wandering to the next transaction or the next proof of worth. Small talk becomes an unbearable and inefficient use of resources. Apologies become obsolete when lavish gestures can purchase peace. After all, "na wetin women like be this" is the script etched into their consciousness.
A Nigerian woman seeks companionship, she does not ask if "he works," instead she asks, "does he have money?" One question honors process; the other worships outcome and remains strategically incurious about provenance. She says she's being realistic. Clear-eyed about how the world actually works, not how it pretends to work in romance novel. But when did "clear-eyed" become indistinguishable from "deliberately blind to certain things I'd rather not see?" When did assessing partnership potential become inseparable from calculating financial insurance against her own vulnerability?
Her affection then, becomes calibrated to a cash flow. Pragmatism metastasizes into a shield against intimacy, against the" terrifying" and "reckless" work of actually knowing and being known.
Our dating culture is mostly an elaborate performance of mutual extraction. Both genders, diminished. Both complicit in a system of leveraged buyouts.
Everyone gets exactly what they negotiated for, and no one gets what they actually need. A genuinely exhausting way of life.
go to chatgpt, ask it to draw up a plan on what to do to become top 1% in your field (a specific field that you care about, follow it (include that you have a 9-5 if you work full time).
thank me in months.
As AI becomes more prominent, we must adapt our brains to become better critical thinkers - we must expand beyond *what* to think, which is what the traditional education system teaches, to *how* and *why*
This is basically a shift from descriptive thinking to analytical and strategic thinking.
Instead of “what is causing climate change ?” Go deeper and ask , “why will the consequences of climate change affect us ?” and “how will the consequences affect us depending on our action choice ?”
Your intuition is powerful. Key to recognise the difference between intuitive decisions vs impulsive decisions.
Intuition feels calm, steady, a quiet knowing, the decision will still feel right the next day.
Impulse feels jittery, urgent & feels wrong even after a short delay.