feyll

Rabbit Rabbit

[feyll @epicfeyll]

my mom didn't flinch
she didn't hesitate
I bet it does
she said

[feyll @epicfeyll]

when I said
it sucks to be /that/ person in the family

with the
brains gone wild
like staying up too late just to
see the commercials

with the
need for support like
the Hard Rock hotel

with the
discomfort of living

[feyll @epicfeyll]

I'd much rather be touch-starved than be

touched
and feel starved.

[feyll @epicfeyll]

our future history will tell
how tonight will go
and tomorrow
and next year
went

the stars?
they'll have been written
long time from now

[feyll @epicfeyll]

they found her in the bath, legs all sprawl, with her hitachi magic wand.

[feyll @epicfeyll]

may they be your own.

[feyll @epicfeyll]

may the touch for which you starve
come to you gently.
may it be strong
firm
soft
kind.

may it heal you like gold,
your kintsugi-riddled soul
held in between two sweetly calloused palms.

[feyll @epicfeyll]

I've found magnetic lashes. watch out, world.

[feyll @epicfeyll]

a hundred lines,
perfectly portioned.
no breaks.

I am just

to be

and then

[Ilya Kaminsky @ilya_poet]

I walk alone in the snow,
squinting up into the big, wet flakes,
letting them bathe my face. I tell myself
it is a kind of touch. I tell myself it will do.

--Maggie Smith

[Diannely Antigua @nellfell13]

check out my sad little poem in this month’s issue of @poetrymagazine 🖤

[feyll @epicfeyll]

we took out all the insulation
yes, it was dusting us with fiberglass
but didn’t it keep us warm?

[feyll @epicfeyll]

act five point five:

maybe it was the angry storm
the uncertainty She wreaked

winds delivering seeds of unplan
rain, soggy quicksand

we found shelter,
but we found it too late or too early or
just the wrong kind

[feyll @epicfeyll]

aside:

jokes about turning me into jenny lewis should have made
it clear that to y’all
I was still just the girl on the wall

[feyll @epicfeyll]

the hands on me are alternatingly calloused and soft
confusing my skin

no is a word I thought I only used with men

[feyll @epicfeyll]

act seven:

burnout is a static whirlwind
made of static

maggie would have something to say about the low visibility
I have something to say about shouting to be heard
I shouldn’t have to shout to be heard
from the middle of the whirlwind

[feyll @epicfeyll]

aside, as of tonight:

the bed looks barren
with pillows missing
it looks too big, and
too small
somehow

texts from another bed
belonging to some young thing
alerting me to the delay
of my makeup
tearstreamed down my face

[feyll @epicfeyll]

I gritted my teeth and I cooperated and I climbed
upper and lower body didn’t coordinate cooperate
I gritted my teeth and I forgot to look back talk back make those mouthsounds

she’s cute, the girl on your wall

[feyll @epicfeyll]

act six:

I tried to climb that ladder
but looking back
but talking back
you couldn’t make out my mouthsounds

neither of you could

I didn’t try hard enough

the ladder, I tried
to get upper and lower body to cooperate
I climbed
I didn’t smile

[feyll @epicfeyll]

act five:

She was mad
that storm

we were scared and we were gone and all of a sudden

in the arkansas woods
I thought we found us

we promptly left us there