Brenna

mediocre triple threat

[matthew diarrhea mandli @matthew_mandli]

Being an older student fucking rules. You? Afraid to raise your hand in class. Me? eating a ziploc of scrambled eggs in the front row. I’m interrupting the professor with a question that’s actually a statement. I clear my throat so loud it sets off a car alarm

[Brenna @epinephbren]

Life is so completely different than it was a year ago and THANK. GOODNESS.

[frankie @frankieats]

finally completed a very important task i’ve been avoiding for several months. it took 8 minutes and zero effort on my part and i felt immediate and immense relief. i probably won’t learn from this

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

sorry i didn’t text you back but you saw me tweeting in the meantime. it’s just that i view twitter as my personal diary for some insane reason & i view texting as a SAW trap designed to expose my lack of social graces

[the human anachronism™️ @FullAsMuchHeart]

Just saw someone saying using the em-dash is a sign of something being written by AI, because real people rarely use it. This is terrible news for everyone like me who has an unhealthy emotional attachment to the em-dash.

[sincerely, ivy marie. 💫 🔜 D23 @sincerelyivy]

ITS THE FIRST DAY OF FALL. 🍂

[victoria ♀️ @fatfabfeminist]

these women are absolutely terrified? they’re thinking about every worst case scenario a million miles a minute and ur doing this,,, for content?? that’s fucking evil.

and i’m sure these are the same guys that think they’re the “good ones”

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

ㅤ

[lunatic 🌒 @yumna_1017]

If someone is bothering you about wearing sunscreen it means they love you

[maybe: sasha @goalietaps]

glass animals were right . it IS a late night in the middle of june and heat waves HAVE been fakin’ me out .

[bashu, thanks @bashu_thanks]

@grocery_pilled truly, as ye have copied, so must ye paste

[Brenna @epinephbren]

Sharks, I’m here today to discuss a proposal:

Darren Criss and Daniel Radcliffe starring together in an AVPM-style Cursed Child musical spoof

[🐉 Huitzilin Flores 🦖 (Comms: Open) @HuitzilinF_Art]

Let me clear the air. I'm always down to go to the zoo with you. I will cancel plans just to go to the aquarium. The siren song of 6ft natural history museum haunts me. I'm thinking about botanical gardens as we speak.

[Brenna @epinephbren]

The dulcet tones of Enya on CD accompanied by water features at the local hardware store’s garden department overtake my senses every time and I walk out in a trance.

Arms filled. Plants I do not have pots for. I must return. It calls.

I buy the pots. Enya strikes again.

[dash @thedigitaldash_]

this is a hot take but i think we should bring back house phones. i dont think that any of us needs to be available to everyone all the time. some ppl (and bill collectors) should only be able to reach you when you’re at the crib tbh

[Danielle May B. Here @Builtahouse]

a man once told me he couldn't be comfortable reading Jane Austen because he kept thinking about what elegantly cutting way she'd sum him up, & honestly that's the correct amount of Fear her powers should induce.

[alex @vodkalemonades]

back to work tomorrow after 10 days off