eric bernal

Phoenix comedian by ways of NY . Here to talk shit and sometimes be a sensitive lil bih

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

Is talk to text just Starbucks employees who purposely misspell for the hell of it

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

You can give someone everything in this world 🌎.... except for sanity.

That is something they can only give themselves

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

It’s about to be June in Arizona… watch how fast “I need a man who’s 6’2” turns into “he keeps the house at 68.”

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

Backing into a parking spot at the gas station is a lil much

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

Drake got me wanting to meet a girl named Janice

just so I can tell her to STFU

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

If you’re a comedian and found any of the jokes on the Roast of Kevin Hart offensive …. Ur Gaaayyyyyy

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

In Scottsdale, your Eskimo brother count could qualify you for season tickets

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

All year it’s “f*ck dem kids” and today it’s Happy Mother’s Day

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

“The Roast of Kevin Hart” should be promoted as a watch party somewhere this Sunday

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

Watching people drag others on the Internet is so lame.

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

Chipotle has horrible straws

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

If you text with your keyboard clicks on. Who is that for? Are you OK? Because I’m trying to enjoy this silence and I can’t with you sounding like you’re sending Morse code from a hostage situation

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

More like Hillary ouuuff 🫠

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

California has Coachella

Arizona has Blowchella ❄️

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

Pro Tip:

Date her after the RED Hair phase

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

Don’t ever judge me by the things that I like on Instagram.

I’ve once liked a post that said “guys named Eric ain’t sh%%”

I just be thumbing hard

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

If he live with his mom or she drive an Altima , I ain’t trying to listen to your heart break about breaking up with them.

You knew

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

Pro Tip:

If you ask her out to dinner and her reply isnt yes or no … but it’s “where?”

Leave that alone. Her company can be purchased if certain restaurants dictate a yes or no.

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

“Why does it get so hot here!?”

ME: were you aware that Arizona is a fu%#n DESERT 🏜️? (YFDA)

[eric bernal @ericbcomedy]

Why they release the Justin Timberlake body cam of his DUI ? Hasn’t this country done enough to our black entertainment