aspiring milf

23 year old ipad baby

[aspiring milf @erinisstupid]

really makes you think

[hersch @tittyrespecter]

started smoking while drunk again, and there are actually zero negative effects on my life because the alcohol forms a protective layer around my lungs. a lot of people don’t know this

[ирис @saltwatermp3]

There is someone sleeping under me on the other side of the earth They are tossing and turning and I find it very disruptive like a pea under many mattresses

[ᴅᴏᴏᴍᴇɴɪᴄ @dinosaur_info]

however chill or not chill I seem now, I was way way more strict as a kid. I was in kindergarten avoiding kids who said “libary” because I thought they were incurably stupid

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

mourning all the lives i could have lived if i was a little braver

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

tony soprano summer (panic attacks, grilling sausages, making no progress in therapy, pool nap, repeating the same mistakes, ice cream sundae dinner)

[ab @itgirlab]

a win for ALL WOMEN TODAY. FINALLY.

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

You don’t need a good reason to not want kids. I hate touching poop and am happy with my Spotify algorithm

[jz2 @mixedgrass666]

Vacation brain is awesome. All I did was eat and drink and walk around and not deny myself anything so my brain is like “wow great town. I should move here. It would probably be like this every day”

[𝗠𝘂𝗵𝗲𝗲 ♛ @muheediva01]

Pay a bill. Pay a bill. Work. Work. Work. Change your oil. CARD DECLINED! CARD IS LOCKED! Change your password. 2 step verification. PERIOD! Unload the dishwasher. Change tire. 4 TIRES! WAKE UP! Work. Work. Work. Food is bad. Apple $9.99. Skincare. Sunscreen. Protein. Protein. Pay a bill. Pay a bill. Always somebody’s birthday. “Are you coming?” RENT IS DUE! I’m so EXHAUSTERWELMULATED with life right now! 😩😭

[fishious @fishquichee]

(Still acting weird) hey sorry for acting so weird earlier

[hunter @3gpmh]

forgive me karl marx for i have bought

[໊ @wynavira]

everything is romanticized when you are a sentimental little bitch

[𝔙𝔞𝔪𝔭 @bIoodFr4ak]

"are you ok" i am literally a forest fire and i am the fire and i am the forest and i am the witness watching it but thanks for asking

[selina meyer’s wife @selinameyersgf]

not to sound too woke but this has no business getting a limited series before any justice AT ALL is served. nearly all of the people involved in the files are free & out and about. ts isn’t entertainment it’s horrifying. this is fucking weird.

[tori @dietcokestan]

celebrating owen hunt leaving grey’s anatomy even though i haven’t tuned in since the stone age

[redhead ophelia 🇺🇦🏳️‍🌈 @redhead_ophelia]

Any sentence starting with “I’m just a girl” is 100% certified bullshit, always

[Reductress @Reductress]

NHL Launches ‘Heated Rivalry’ Spin-Off, ‘Hockey’: https://t.co/dHRXejLc86

[victryena 🪾 @victryena]

at my funeral:

my mom: why tf is today's wordle here?

me in my casket: thats oomf 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭