Erin Smith

brown hair, glasses

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

I, like my women, like my coffee

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

@caseyrosariyo hmmm hard relate...

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

did the gilmore girls ever drink water

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

Hi read my story 🙃

[X-R-A-Y @xraylitmag]

we have a story by Erin Kelly Smith !

it's about a woman who get a message from a man on a dating app, & then deletes the app from her phone

the rest of the story is her imagintion going wild with could-be's & what-if's & crazy dreams. read this story !

https://t.co/lvzzHin94q

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

@texgresham I get all my life advice from people who killed themselves

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

my unique talent as a DJ is that whenever I try to think of a song to listen to, the ONLY song that plays in my mind is the Succession theme

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

The first coffee shop in Los Angeles to install a bidet is gonna increase customers by 1 million %

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

me to my greasemonkey friends: I love PB Blaster
me to my other friends: I have never heard of a product called "PB Blaster" and thus would never pledge my affection for it

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

scholars will note that our civilization began its fall when restaurants started giving prizes to customers for eating too much food

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

Can't believe this was the pangram in today's NYT Spelling Bee

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

What should I wear on my first day of clown school?!

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

people go goddamn nuts when someone turns out to be talented AND hot

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

An archive of 3 thoughts I just had:
1) That strange brief phase when hip cafes put butter in coffee
2) Cryogenic freezing is heaven for atheists
3) That moment in Seinfeld when Jerry is like, "They put the fudge on the bottom, so you can control your distribution!"

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

I refuse to stop buying vintage blazers I will never wear.

It is my right as a millennial woman!!

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

I really botched it, and I wasn't already prepared with a great goof for when OJ passed. Getting ready NOW to have the perfect joke for when 9/11 dies.

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

Spending the last ten minutes of my session showing my therapist my pop-up book art. I am paying $100 per hour to hear this woman say, "That's impressive!" (Worth it!!!!!!!!!)

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

and here I find myself
back yet again
taking a shit in the target restroom

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

I know my brain is broken because I just looked at my headphones and thought, "hot dogs."

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

There are two types of people in this world: those who turn left and those who turn right at the fork at Exit 141 toward Los Feliz Blvd.

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

deez nutz run red, white, and blue

[Erin Smith @erinkellysmith]

Ralphs Supermarket chain was founded in 1873 by Ralph Waldo Emerson