Scottie B

it’s always spooky season in my heart 🧡🤍🖤

[Scottie B @escottieb]

I’m not a maybe kind of baby

[Scottie B @escottieb]

If I could ask @AlexHorne about ANY task from @taskmaster, it would have to be s13, e8 & the “really disgusting task”. The thought process mystifies me in the loveliest of ways.😛

[Scottie B @escottieb]

@airenvii Thanks for hanging out during my intermission ✨

[Scottie B @escottieb]

What’s up, mother fuckers? I’m back! Guess who got laid off, loss all sense of her identity & fell into a deep depression for the last year-ish? 💖

[Scottie B @escottieb]

Sooooo turns out if I shoot whisky at all now, no matter what … this happens. ✨

[Scottie B @escottieb]

Plot twist … if you snort halfway through a shot of Jim Beam & it goes up your nose, you WILL get drunk real fast.

[Patrick Lyons @PatrickDLyons]

PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT THIS WEEK!!

[Scottie B @escottieb]

Shoutout to anaphylaxis 🎉

[Scottie B @escottieb]

Shoutout to the lady walking by the dog park who antagonized my dog & made me cry today 🥰

[Scottie B @escottieb]

Here’s more Jughead content 🫶🏼

[Scottie B @escottieb]

@TJNikolao I won’t lie, the news showed Clarksville getting ripped & I came here to check on you this AM 🫶🏼 glad you made it!!

[Scottie B @escottieb]

#NewProfilePic

[♌︎ @dankingorb]

me after coughing my lungs out from a fat hit

[Scottie B @escottieb]

Ok so like I can go a lot of places in Colorado without a GPS now 🫶🏼

[Scottie B @escottieb]

You guys want live tweets of my family vacation? I’m tempted 👀

[Scottie B @escottieb]

Ok, I’ll accept this

[Scottie B @escottieb]

Please don’t text me happy thanksgiving, I’m only here for green bean casserole & dinner rolls

[Scottie B @escottieb]

Ok, mildly impressed, they didn’t absolutely ream me on my severance. Still an egregiously mishandled process on their part, imo, but at least I’m not destitute for the time being 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Scottie B @escottieb]

Wait, I guess this social media can know (since my parents don’t lurk here) I got laid off two weeks ago tomorrow. After 8 years in corporate America, I didn’t entirely want to yeet myself from a high place when I woke up this morning 🫶🏼

[Scottie B @escottieb]

No, like yes, is a complete sentence.

[Scottie B @escottieb]

You know how you can hear the vibrations something makes when it hits the ground but you’ve got headphones in your ears? Oh, just me? 😅

[Astro Poets @poetastrologers]

No one:
Cancers: so sorry I’m so sorry SO SORRY