Pajamasoverpeople

here for the 🎶

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Coffee mug: “NOT dishwasher safe”

Me: you'll be fine, just do your best in there.

[𝓲𝓬𝓮 @be_like_ice]

I can't stand when people ask, "Are you a dog or a cat person?" Listen Susan, I'll pet a crocodile if I know the little menace won't bite me.

[Old Salty Marine @BamaSaltyMarine]

If you watch Jaws
backwards, it is a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to people who need them.

[Pajamasoverpeople @espnvoyant]

@SirJeremyLondon

[soup🍓 @thrluv]

telling your parent that a video is AI feels like telling a child santa doesn’t exist

[𝓲𝓬𝓮 @be_like_ice]

girls be like "i needed this" and it's just an entire day spent bed rotting with their cat.

[Lisa @lisathebeauty1]

next rage bait idea: like your own texts during an argument

[Bones @FrailSkeleton]

If a toddler offers u an unwrapped piece of candy from his sticky hand, that’s a sign of great respect in their culture

[Fav ⛧ @Favwontmiss]

The ADHD Watermelon Theory perfectly explains executive dysfunction. Neurotypicals see a delicious fruit and think, "I want a snack."
My ADHD brain sees a 15-pound administrative obstacle course involving heavy lifting, knife safety, kitchen logistics, sticky counter mitigation, and Tupperware geometric planning. So instead, I will starve.

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

We Asked AI To Make Soccer Less Boring

[Pajamasoverpeople @espnvoyant]

@NoahKahan

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Might just play Maine 17 times in a row at every show on tour and then when I come out for an encore it’s just Maine again and then the music that plays as you walk out is also Maine

[meghan @deloisivete]

extreme heat warning: stay inside

me, who is always very inside anyway: you got it

[Pajamasoverpeople @espnvoyant]

@tupacabra Telling my kids this was him

[trash jones @jzux]

i’m actually stealing AI’s job (wasting resources and making up stupid shit)

[Pajamasoverpeople @espnvoyant]

@TheWopObama

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

when i accidentally close my 45 tabs it's like the burning of the library of alexandria, but worse and much more dire