Charlotte Smith

Currently recruiting sheeple, also, very allergic to cats.

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

To @sainsburys -
"I try not to use single-use plastic, but Sainsbury's seem to have everything double wrapped, which makes it very difficult!" Chris, 36. Bristol

#couldntcareless

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

Just gonna leave this here in the very unlikely case some of you haven’t seen it and maybe ya wanna sign https://t.co/xw757uWMKw

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

Accidentally booked a teetotal (alcohol free) hostel and everyone is really weird and quiet and I just saw a man eat an entire pack of bacon and another reheat spaghetti for breakfast what is this hell??

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

My little brother’s making me watch cars 2 and honestly the concept of a car-based spy movie is just baffling they’re just too clunky

Also one sentient car landed on a sentient boat and that’s the equivalent of a human landing on a human without noticing it’s ridiculous

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

The more I experience in life the more angry and feminist I get

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

I always lose weight when I’m back home and I honestly think it’s just burning extra calories from the constant stress/frustration at my mother

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

Oh my GAWD the vegan revolution is alive and well there’s now FOUR vegan cafes in Bath and I just got a vegan hot chocolate WITH CREAM AND MARSHMALLOWS AND IT WAS INCREDIBLE AND DIDNT HARM ANY ANIMALS!!

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

Their gossiping is so intense they’ve barely touched the one drink they bought to share

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

There are two girls which have been sat in the cafe I work at for HOURS and they haven’t stopped gossiping. They are literally an endless pit of gossip.

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

Bee-killing pesticides have no place on #Romania’s fields. I want @ROPermRepEU to vote for EFSA #BeeGuidance @EU_Food PAFF Committee, so new pesticides like #sulfoxaflor & #chlorpyrifos face stricter tests https://t.co/BOQi3Wrqtj #SaveTheBees #Bees

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

I aspire to one day have the confidence of a naked old lady in a swimming pool changing room

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

I might be a cynical pessimist but watching families/friends reunite when they’re all excited is one of my favourite things

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

Currently being followed by a lot of independent baby clothing stores on the Instagram and they’re going to be wildly disappointed when they find out I’m not their target market

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

If I can’t even last a 3hr train journey without getting fidgety how in hell am I gonna survive a 24hr flight to nz??

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

Gap in the market:
A band, but with no live band, just a singer.
The band is backing tracks.
The singer can’t sing.
The singer is drunk.
The drunk singer violently pushes everyone else away when they try to ‘take their turn on the karaoke machine’

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

I’m so pathetic I bought overpriced hummus today JUST so I could talk to the fit guy that runs the market stall every week

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

I had a dream last night that I won an Emmy for my humourous interpretation of a rock in a film starring John malkovich and Emilia Clarke

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

Every time I research anything for an essay I worry that someone somewhere will see my search history and put me on some kind of black list

[Douglas Murdoch @DSHMurdoch]

A concept: The nativity but the three wise men all slept with Mary and they’re trying to work out who the father is and also they’re all singing ABBA

[Charlotte Smith @etcharlot]

'A mule doing dressage?? You have got to be kidding!'
- some random posho 2k18