certified dumbass

“so silly, that’s mom!”

[fiascá spice @TilllyNeonn]

Hey guys not to be too Mom on main but this is a problem.

[Kyle Whitmire @WarOnDumb]

An administration against windmills because the president says they kill birds is pouring hydrogen peroxide into a home for ducks and geese.

[Rogue POTUS Staff @RoguePOTUSStaff]

When the public is surging in vitamin overdoes, you know you've failed as a Health and Human Services secretary.

VITAMIN OVERDOSES.

[neon (unserious) @neon_heartbeat]

Her husband immediately starting a go fund me and describing her as “successfully” having given birth before an “extremely rare” complication got her… ick Postpartum hemorrhage is NOT extremely rare it’s VERY COMMON and that’s why we GO TO A HOSPITAL

[Drebae @Drebae_]

We have a trillionaire, and you're upset at people using SNAP to buy Chips Ahoy?

[Jai-Zia Dax 🧘🏾‍♀️ @DreadedJai]

You like the character he plays on television, I love the character he plays on television but in actuality he’s literally just a half Italian dude from Florida named Joe and it’s completely fine to criticize him and his terrible politics. “Roman Reigns”isn’t real

[Jim Stewartson, Decelerationist 🇨🇦🇺🇦🇺🇸 @jimstewartson]

How about medicine, food and shelter you fucking prick
This is just using veterans as guinea pigs.

[Xtine (normie in training) @X_tinek]

they told us in sex ed not to be pressured into sex bc of this actually lol

[Michael O’Brien @DrOBrienMD]

Y’all, not to be a huge nerd but for the reflecting pool you would need a minimum of about 8,000 liters of 12% hydrogen peroxide to reach the 50 parts per million concentration to kill algae…

Is this what happens when you have 0 scientists in your administration?

[Dustin Rhodes @dustinrhodes]

❤️❤️

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

Banning under-16s from YouTube mostly means banning them from logging in, which means YouTube will treat them less like kids and more like anonymous adults. Great job, UK.

[𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖗 @LucifersTweetz]

Michelle Obama is clearly not a man, but Melania Trump is clearly a hooker who went from the whorehouse to the White House.

[certified dumbass @etckate]

@SpIinterCaI @BoofWellington_ i mean cal, if we’re going to get technical.
why else would you drop the direct link to the album from spotify? you did in fact “plug a good album under a tweet that already bangs.” that is literally what promotion is.
but imagine being so dense about the definition of promo lol

[mark normand @marknorm]

This looks like a Disney movie where a 12 year old becomes president

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

these mfs can’t do anything that isn’t a war crime

[Ahmed Baba @AhmedBaba_]

Update: Last night, our baby did in fact arrive just before the Knicks won in five.

My wife and I are unbelievably happy. We have a healthy, adorable baby boy. Was tempted to name him Jalen Karl-Anthony OG Baba, but we kept our original choice.

Welcome, James Brooklyn Baba 🙌🏾

[Lance Cooper @lmauricecpr]

George Zimmerman stalked, attacked, and then murdered a child. He was found not guilty because Trayvon Martin is Black. White people didn’t demand his execution; instead, they asked him to autograph bags of Skittles.

[OME @Mike_Eagle]

if you squint at the word trillion it looks like guillotine

[Lyn🦋 @_ayandamay]

I want a refund on every minute I spent in 8th grade learning that monopolies are illegal and that our government would protect us from greedy men....