Ethan lives, loves, builds

Solo founder creating, living, dad of 2, building with ai

❤️‍🔥 - react less, love more
stealth project - launching soon

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

181 followers 🎉 small steps but I’m grateful to have been able to connect with real people here not bots (mostly 😄). Thanks to those who have reached out!

Next stop 200!

I was a super shy kid who would’ve run a mile before even posting anonymous thoughts

I was focused on differences and how they made us less or more than others. But the funny thing is we’re all the same and all different, which is just bloody perfect

If you’re into:
- inner work
- AI
- solopreneuring
- parenting
- laughing at the beauty and absurdity of life

Let’s connect 🤝🥳

Have some cool things to share next week!

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@TateHackert This is so well described Tate, I’m reliving those first months and years again. And the journey remains magic as they grow up and never stops being so

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

we can understand things in theory, but our actions, which include our speaking, reveal our actual way of being rather than what we think our way of being is

We might say, "Hey, I'm patient, I'm loving," but our words can reveal otherwise.

We can say, "Hey, I'm very open-minded, I'm curious, I'm optimistic. I see lots of possibility," but our words may reveal that we, in fact, are being insecure or judgmental.

To the extent that you can reflect or have something external reflect to you how you are speaking and acting, you can see and remove the internal constructs that keep you constricted

[SightBringer @_The_Prophet__]

⚡️Words like “just,” “maybe,” “try,” “should,” and “hope” are not neutral.

They impose limitation.

They signal uncertainty into your subconscious.

Even your inner monologue is coded with loops you didn’t choose.

The matrix isn’t digital.
It’s linguistic.

To escape it, you don’t just think differently.

You must speak differently. With precision, power, and resonance.

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@HumanityChad

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@astrooalert I'll use this to recalibrate whenever I think something's too far out or woo 😄

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@astrooalert I'll use this to recalibrate whenever I think something's too far out or woo 😄

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@kanekallaway collections

[Vacha @TVachaW]

In our overly-therapized culture, shame is an emotion that has been almost completely villainized.

It’s understandable why this has happened.

The toxic version of shame has had such an oppressive impact on our society over the past thousand years or so.

So there’s there’s an instinct in many to just totally reject it as an experience of any value.

But it’s my belief that there are healthy versions of every emotion.

Including shame.

I certainly feel some of my biggest growth has come from feeling genuinely ashamed of things I’ve done that didn’t live up to my values.

Shame, when I’ve allowed myself to feel it, has been a powerful force for holding myself accountable.

It’s provided emotional fuel to motivate me to come into alignment with the principles I want to live by.

So what is the key to experiencing shame in an empowering way instead of the all too familiar toxic spiral?

For me, it’s all about ensuring it is married to a stable sense of self-esteem.

For shame to be healthy, it has to be grounded in a belief that in my deepest heart, I am fundamentally good.

When I feel shame, it is not via comparison to other people or some external authority.

It’s not in relationship to some fixed sense of being a “bad person.”

I feel shame in comparison to the full potential I am capable of.

And I recognize that full potential as my true nature.

This means that shame doesn’t cause me to call into question my fundamental goodness.

Rather, it points me towards it.

I think the other component to healthy shame is finding someone trusted to share it with.

For me, this brings it out of the darkness and helps remove what I would call “the shame of being ashamed.”

What ideas do you have on what healthy shame looks like?

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@psswordprotectd true and easy to see as true when you're just reading it on the phone all comfy on the sofa, but really hard to realize when your entire reality appears to be a threat. the illusion is so damn consistent 😄

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@psswordprotectd true and easy to see as true when you're just reading it on the phone all comfy on the sofa, but really hard to realize when your entire reality appears to be a threat. the illusion is so damn consistent 😄

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@psswordprotectd Thanks, what you did capture was super interesting

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@sivalabs That response

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@TVachaW this has been really interesting to watch and observe in others and myself when talking to AI like rudeness and aggression towards AI when frustrated. It's both stemming from inner dissatisfaction and conflict and also reinforcing and creating more of that

[Tyler is finishing a book, slow to reply @TylerAlterman]

Possible huge problem with psychospiritual journeys: Yes, there are deep structures in the labyrinth of my mind, and yes, I will have profound insights and fundamental shifts when I bring them into full awareness...

And yet...after years of self-work, I'm starting to suspect a large amount of the labyrinth is actually *procedurally generated.* Like a video game map that builds itself on the spot the further you travel across it

It would be like this sequence playing out:
1. I dive deep into the labyrinth of my mind
2. The mind goes "Oh! He's expecting to find some deep structures. Let me generate some of those that are consistent with the rest of me. Oh! He's also expecting to find some enemies there, so let me spawn some demons."
3. Lo and behold, there is more (eg) "unresolved trauma" to resolve

I think that this process is especially responsive to my motivation. So if I *want* to be in the narrative of Psychospiritual Journey, complete with Shocking Moments Of Insight? (subtext: ...so that I can procrastinate Finding A Job, Building Relationships, Pursuing My Big Scary Calling, etc) ...Well, then the mind will be happy to help. It will procedurally generate an infinite psychospiritual landscape for me to "discover"

I suspect the dynamic I describe above is why many psychospiritual delvers seem like they're just moving in circles. Yes, the mind is vast and there's tons of actually wild stuff in there to explore. Yes, imho Mind is humanity's true final frontier. But also...in some important way...you might be making it up

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@TylerAlterman Yeah that’s beautifully described - I remember one school of coaching I was part of that was talking about how they look only at light and don’t look at shadow because as you go looking for it, it appears, without end. I thought that was naive but there’s certainly truth to it

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@jujubileen A little laughing Buddha 😁❤️

Just want to hug him

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

its rather amazing how this works, and there are all sorts of implications, like the people you hang out with influence your language.

and the roles that you take on, like becoming a parent, influence your language too. Having a kid, babbling with them, and making up nonsense with them shakes off old cobwebs and frees your subconscious to be more playful

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

its rather amazing how this works, and there are all sorts of implications, like the people you hang out with influence your language.

and the roles that you take on, like becoming a parent, influence your language too. Having a kid, babbling with them, and making up nonsense with them shakes off old cobwebs and frees your subconscious to be more playful

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@thedulab also reminds me of this incredible quote. when you bet on yourself, you go on this journey of discovery, and after all that, you end back where you were, far wealthier

[Ethan lives, loves, builds @ethan_tan]

@thedulab also reminds me of this incredible quote. when you bet on yourself, you go on this journey of discovery, and after all that, you end back where you were, far wealthier